The women's football team in action yesterday. Photo: Tim Nunan

Varsity clockwatch: DAY THREE

21:20: And that’s that! WARWICK HAVE WON THE MEN’S FIRST HOCKEY MATCH! They become Varsity champions after a completely comprehensive 5-0 victory, adding two goals late on in the game. They completely deserved their win and complete a clean sweep for Warwick’s hockey teams. A great end to the day, and now I’m about to get a lift home and spend the next 27 years in a hot bath. Oh and also the clockwatch will be back tomorrow with some Varsity reaction and campus antics. It’s been the most super of Super Sundays, be proud. We’ve got this. Before I depart, have some tweets. Mwah x

20:40: Third goal scored. Coventry rattled. Fingers freezing.

20:35: Forget blood on the sand- there’s blood on the AstroTurf here. A Warwick attacker is tripped and opens a wound on his knee, it’s only a graze but a bit of claret always adds a bit of gravitas to a sporting encounter. Meanwhile we’ve scored a second and look in control.

20:20: We’re near the end of the first half and Warwick have the lead! Coventry attack and lose possession, and fail to regain their shape or the ball. Warwick attack down the right, pass the ball across the face of the goal and it’s finished at the back post. 1-0 Warwick, and it’ll be halftime very shortly.

20:06: The men’s hockey has begun and it’s currently 0-0. There’s a very decent turnout and it’s been end to end stuff so far, with Coventry just having a decent chance snuffed out. Updates when we have them. But no red times or embedded tweets I’m afraid, because of tech issues. *Sob

19:43: Actually, I just had a quick nosey look at old Grandmasta’s Twitter and you definitely shouldn’t go there yourself- utterly unbloggable stuff there. Naughty Flex. Anyway, I’m now making my way to Westwood so the blog is going to go quiet for a while. Plus I’m migrating to my phone, so if the spelling and lay-out goes all skew-whiff it’s not my fault, honest. Ciao!

19:40: All these celebratory tweets, lovely stuff. Where are you now, Grandmasta Flex the fourth (see 17.50)?!

19:30: And just to cap things off…

Indomitable. I like that word. Indomitable Warwick. Oh, baby.

19:27: They’ve done it! Fighting back from 1-0 down, THE WOMEN’S HOCKEY FIRST TEAM HAVE WON THEIR 2015 VARSITY MATCH 3-1! A huge congratulations to them, Shingi is down at Westwood and he’s going to be getting some crowd reaction for us. That result means we’ve won all three hockey matches so far, and the men’s first team will be hoping to make it a clean sweep when they begin their match at 20.00pm. Great stuff- yet another two points on the board!

19:15: Don’t forget the Superbowl tonight! More updates from the women’s first match on their way, before we have a live commentary of the men’s game. Omg Varsity 2015 is so sick amiright people.

18:50: Time for a hock-pdate. No, that didn’t really work. Time for a hockey update. Over to Shingi:

Half time and it’s 1-0 to Coventry in the women’s first fixture. Warwick have dominated possession, and Coventry scored in a slick counter attack against the run of play. In other news, there are paramedics on the sidelines, which is good as apparently one of these balls can crack your head open according to my A-Level PE teacher. I’m a bit worried a stray ball is going to hit me and end my time on this earth- I’m standing awfully close.

If you see a bright light Shingi, don’t walk towards it.

18:45: The many many people who read this blog: LISTEN UP. If we all chip in we can collectively reimburse Sam the money he spent on his bottle of water at the pool earlier. By my calculations, that means we all owe 77p. Yes, including you Mum.

18:40: As for the tennis, the men’s first team are on course for a prolific victory, which you can watch LIVE on WTV. The women’s first team became Varsity champions earlier on in the day- congratulations to them!

18:25: Cricket and tennis now. Let’s start with the former, and Warwick lost the men’s third match by 7 wickets after finding themselves all out for 109. They recovered from this disappointment with two huge results though: the second team performed strongly and won their clash with two wickets in hand. And the first team won their clash in stunning fashion, after finding themselves all out for a meagre 95, they produced a fantastic bowling performance to skittle out Coventry for a tiny 55. I was in the Desso Hall for a while and the watching Warwick fans were loving it, one of the best 2015 Varsity performances there, for sure.

18:18: I absolutely love the difference in attitude there. Table tennis-ers(?): ‘well played Coventry old pals sorry for beating you 17-0’. Warwick swimmers: ‘WE PUMMELLED YOU INTO THE GROUND COVENTRY SCUM’.

18:10: If you’re waiting for the Single of the Week, best put on your slippers, fill up your pipe, and crack on a Mozart CD for the next three quarters of an hour, because it’s been delayed. And now for some more scores on the doors. Despite over-running horrendously, Warwick’s swimmers still managed to get the job done, out-racing and out-splashing Coventry 147-69. What with that result and the water polo yesterday (18-1 not 11-1 Source Media…), I think it’s safe to say we’ve got that swimming pool locked down. And in the table tennis, we crushed Cov 17-0 in a friendly. I saw some really lovely tweets from that game though, I’ll try and find them.

18:00: Back to the serious stuff now, and Shingi Mararike is down at the women’s first hockey fixture and has this update:

The game is about to begin, in windy and cold conditions. Warwick seem confident of a win though and there’s a superb atmosphere, and Kanye West’s ‘Power’ begins to play as the two sides warm up. One word: epic. Warwick have got this.

I love that. Can we all agree to ditch ‘Let’s go Warwick’, and just all sing our way through ‘Power’ before Varsity matches instead?

17:53: Also, this whole Magenta Army hashtag thing still completely flummoxes me. Magenta? Really? Of all the colours you could pick from, of all the different shades and hues- the one you pick to dress your rugby players and footballers and everybody else in, is magenta? I mean, when was the last time anybody felt threatened by anything magenta?

Those of a nervous disposition, look away now.

Those of a nervous disposition, look away now.

17:50: We hope you weren’t too disappointed Grandmasta Flex the fourth, there’s always next year pal.

17:50: Actually Source Media, we beat you 18-1. Hashtag amateurs etc etc (winky face).

17:40: We’ll have news on the table tennis, tennis, and swimming very shortly. In the meantime, let’s play everybody’s favourite game: copying and pasting amusing Coventry tweets!

17:30: On the topic of hockey, here’s our boi Joe Baker with his reflections on the men’s second Varsity clash, which we won 6-1:

Warwick played fantastically well, a really great display of attacking play and some great goals scored. I’d like to give a shout-out to the Warwick goalkeeper, who spent most of the game lying down, reading a book and chatting to some nice girls- in general, he just didn’t appear to realise that a game was going on. Pretty much sums it up really!

17:20: Just a reminder that we’re going to be bringing you live updates from both the women’s and men’s first team hockey matches. It’s going to be absolutely freezing cold, but nothing warms the cockles like a penalty corner.

17:15: Now seems like probably the last occasion I’ll ever get to link to this (semi-relevant) club banger. Enjoy it, we’re Varsity pool champions 2015:

17:10: Do you know what you need in your life? Do you know what will make your sordid, shameful little existence around one hundred times better? Do you know what it means to feel alive? Me neither, but whilst we’re all trying to work it out, here’s some choice cuts from Sam’s commentary on the Varsity pool:

The pool was held at Riley’s, which is deep in enemy territory and like the land that time forgot. Plus they charged me £2.15 for a bottle of water: extortionate. It was the first to 36 frames, and in the first Warwick captain Samuel Pauly (who used to be the Coventry coach) trounced a Gus Poyet lookalike. The match was played to a high standard:  imagine that once in a lifetime fluke shot you make when drunk in Kelsey’s that draws screams from the masses – that’s every frame. It was also close, and teetered 17-16 at one stage. And dramatic- at one stage someone punched a table in celebration and injured their hand. Fortunately though, Warwick emerged victorious, taking the contest 42-35 after pulling away from the previous score of 32-31. Pauly was MVP after winning 6 of his 7 frames. 

Amazing stuff from Sam there, to be honest I think he should just hang out writing about the goings on in Riley’s for the rest of his life, he does it so well. Anyway Warwick won is the key thing to take away from that, another two points for the men and women in blue (and not magenta, lol).

16:55: I’ve got some absolutely fantastic pool commentary coming up for you courtesy of Sam Nugent, but first a word on the rugby union. Actually, have three: WE FUCKING WON. The men’s second team beat Coventry 27-8 before the first team comprehensively shut down the opposition to stroll home 20-5. Cov didn’t really help themselves when, with less than half an hour on the clock, their number 6 decided to throw a right hook George Groves himself would be proud of, but to focus on that incident would be doing the boys a disservice. They were better in every department and fully deserved to steal the Varsity crown back after that gruelling one point loss last year. Plus their Twitter account is hilarious and well worth a follow.

16:50: Also, look how bloody lovely those American Football boys are on Twitter. As a proud Mother myself, I can well appreciate how happy their parents must be.

16:45: Let’s now move on from proper football to a game also supposedly called football, which involves running directly into grunting, sweaty men, all wearing more body armour than a heavy duty soldier, whilst aimlessly chasing a ball that sort of looks like a rugby. And Warwick beat Coventry in the American Football 60-12! I’m being stupid, I’ve actually gotten into a bit of American Football since starting my first year at Warwick purely because the sport has a very strong following on campus; the University team is one of the more active around campus and on social media, and the Superbowl is well attended every year. By all accounts we absolutely brutalised Coventry, and the guys have secured another two valuable points. Arguably the result of the day, and they can now relax and enjoy the game tonight!

16:40: And now for the football. Four matches were played today, starting with the men’s fourth fixture which kicked off at 10.30am, before the thirds, seconds and firsts all kicked off, with that final game beginning at 14.00pm, concluding the football fixtures for 2015 Varsity after our women’s team narrowly lost 1-0 yesterday. The fourth team got the day off to a good start, absolutely crushing Cov 3-0 in a match they never looked like losing. I took in the first 50 odd minutes of that and then turned away to watch the thirds kick off- and promptly missed a scrap involving what looked like half the players on the pitch. Definitely learnt my lesson there. Anyway, the thirds unfortunately lost 3-2, which is a real shame as Nathan Davies scored with an absolutely sublime bicycle kick which (deservedly) sent the Warwick touch line absolutely mental. Meanwhile, the second team lost 2-0 in a game much like the women’s fixture yesterday (i.e. HOW THE HELL DID COVENTRY WIN THAT?) whilst the first team went down 3-0 for a second successive year. So Coventry take the football 4-1, although how the women and men’s second team lost I’ll really never know.

16:35: Oh my god, where do we start? Perhaps with the fencing, as that was the first event that got underway today, at the very early time of 10.00am. Unfortunately, Warwick lost to Cov 113-106, which is an incredibly close defeat and a score Warwick can be proud of. Plus the tie was only a friendly, so there were no Varsity points at stake. Rest easy, Varsity lovers. Our fencing team is still a club we can all be very proud of though and I’m sure they’ll bounce back in their forthcoming competitions.

16:30: The Boar Sport clockwatch is back for a third day of Varsity action! You just can’t get rid of us. We’re going to be bringing you instant reaction to today’s Super Sunday of Warwick-Coventry competition, with round-ups of what went on in the football, rugby union and pool, amongst other events. We’ve also got reporters stationed at the tennis and hockey matches either currently going on are soon to be played. We’re basically a Warwick Soccer Saturday, only without Jeff, Kammy or last minute goals at Aldershot to report to you. So we’re nothing like Soccer Saturday, really.

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