Letters and the complacency in our communication

When was the last time you wrote a letter? Forget about the technicalities associated with postage (I personally have no clue about them) and just think about the writing aspect of it. When was the last time you sat down with the wholehearted intention of pouring your heart out to a friend or…anyone really?

For me it was at a Christmas party that my friend hosted last December. I found the notion of writing letters to people present at the party cute, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about receiving letters of my own, so naturally I was very for the idea. But when I sat down to actually write, I found myself in a position where I was forced to confront my feelings toward my friends. I felt shy, naturally, and a bit awkward.

How do you translate feelings of love and respect into ink on paper? How do you speak the unspoken, and really how important is it to continue a friendship?

These are the kinds of questions letter-writing sparks in a person, and they are what makes letter-writing a form of art more than a form of mere correspondence, especially in the modern day and age where reaching people is so convenient.

There is something very intimate about letter-writing, an intimacy that’s been lost with texts watched over by algorithms

But has this convenience made us grow complacent in our communication?

Data indicates that households in the United Kingdom receive personal letters only about once every seven or eight weeks, a significant decline from 1987. But this decline had to have been expected, surely. It’s just so much better, financially and time-wise, to send an email or drop a text to catch up with an old friend.

Wouldn’t it be great, though, to receive a letter in the mail that isn’t a reminder for a bill to be paid or a registration that needs to be taken care of with immediacy?

There is something very intimate about letter-writing, an intimacy that’s been lost with texts watched over by algorithms. It feels as though there is always a third party present in a conversation, even if you are assured of encryption and privacy. Personal communication has been made impersonal, with convenience at the forefront of any correspondence.

It is inevitable that this impersonality would create a sense of disconnect, even when everything around you screams that you are supposed to feel the most connected to the people around the world than you have ever felt before. In his book, Johann Hari argues that this sense of disconnect from community can genuinely be a contributing factor to worse mental health.

Ideas, after all, only stay alive if there are people out there to keep them

Of course, your community only gives you back what you put into it, so I will ask you again: when was the last time you wrote a letter?

It’s important to step outside of your comfort zone and be intentional about your communication with others. It’s also a great way to unplug, and really reflect upon your relationships with the people in your life and your attitude towards them. Letter-writing is a great exercise in self-improvement and accountability.

Thankfully, there is yet hope out there for this tradition. There happens to have been somewhat of a resurgence, at least from anecdotal accounts, of people that have been making active efforts to maintain ‘pen pals’, who (as I’m sure you must know) are strangers from around the world that you talk to through letter-writing.

Some view it as an outdated practice, only relevant in primary school, but it’s a great way to upkeep a lost art. Ideas, after all, only stay alive if there are people out there to keep them so, no matter how they do it.

It felt as though an emotional pin was pulled out of my ability to express my gratitude towards [my friends]

There also exist other initiatives like ‘Letters Live‘ that try to keep this art form alive through the grandest possible medium: the stage. It’s the perfect manifestation of the emotional weight that letters truly carry, and it would be a blatant lie to say that listening to some of these letters out loud doesn’t motivate us to write some of our own.

The letter-writing task at the Christmas party was a success, in case you were wondering. There were some tears shed, many hugs exchanged, and it was a sentimental topper to an already-sentimental holiday. I learnt to appreciate my friendships in a new way, and it felt as though an emotional pin was pulled out of my ability to express my gratitude towards them.

So pick up a pen and some paper, turn off your devices and write a letter to whomever your heart tells you to. It might be cheesy, but that’s just how all good things are.