Boarsity Clockwatch – Day 2

17:38: Everyone was too busy consoling themselves to get any footage or quotes from all the Warwick fans drowning their sorrows in the bars of Royal Leamington Spa after the ice hockey last night, but as he so often does, Sinatra says it better than anyone ever could. We’re 8-2 down, and lets just take a moment to let out a massive cathart about how bad that feels:


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Dickens took inspiration for the heavily quotable opening to A Tale of Two Cities from the Varsity tournament of 1859; the last time it was even conceivable after the opening fixtures of the event that Warwick would not coast to victory. Ol’ Charlie was a massive Bears fan; only taking breaks from writing long novels about how terrible it was to be a kid in Victorian London to head down to Westwood and watch some Tennis with his beard dyed grizzly brown and in full face paint. Though the worst times look like they’ve come for Warwick in Varsity so far, the best may be round the corner and there is hope for recovery.


Chaz watching WTV’s Ice Hockey coverage

17:51: Speak of the devil and he will tan some Cov backsides … or something to that effect. WARWICK TAKE THE TABLE TENNIS in a match that is still yet to finish, racking up an unassailable 9-1 advantage over the enemy. The gap has been closed to 8-4 and we’re back baby!!!

18:00: The Netball is under way and a good crowd has emerged to watch these girls hopefully put Varsity back into our own hands, where it belongs. #NothingButNet

18:06: Come on Oscar, call yourself a Sport Journalist?? Getting sacked in the morning…

18:18: After a short delay we are LIVE at the Women’s Netball and we’re COURTSIDE. Well I say courtside, we’re sitting amongst bags in the equipment cupboard. Pros of student journalism are that you get the best seats, cons are that you’re more than likely to get hit in the teeth with a ball and a broken laptop.

18:23: Coventry lead 9-8 in the first quarter and from what we can see in this crowded nest/lair that we’ve set up for ourselves that is a fair scoreline for the closeness of the game. Fast paced game supported by a packed crowd. Live Sport at its very best.

18:28: We all saw it James…

18:30: Coventry lead 16-11 here at the Netball with one of their players just standing by the net so she can score repeatedly. I didn’t take kindly to goalhangers in Mayflower Primary School 16 years ago and I don’t take kindly to them now.

18:33: Turns out the aptly named Goal Shooter is a legit position… my bad.

18:34: Warwick Devils are now performing their routine for the first break and my colleague Alex Hesketh has been ordered to put the music on because he is sitting by the speakers. YEA ALEX, MAKE YOURSELF — USEFUL, STUDENT JOURNALISM IS FOR NERDS.

18:38: The cheer was led in spectacular fashion by the Devils and the crowd have taken notice with some roars that would make the Camp Nou sound like the Western Homes Community Stadium as we get back under way here at 20-14 to Coventry. Little something like this.

18:46: Totally forgot about my laptop’s mortality and it was not dicking around when it said ‘You need to plug me in … NOW’. Imagine if I didn’t find one. Then where would you be? You wouldn’t even know that Coventry have taken a commanding lead in the tie and lead 27-18. Come on Warwick!


Come on guys it wasn’t that scary. *waddles off to find get spare ‘you never know’ jeans*

18:53: You know what I said about being vulnerable to getting hit by the ball? Yea. That. Sport Journalism was never the right career path for me considering my face is a highly powered ball magnet…. No not those balls.. Never mind. #Childs

18:56: You heard the man.

18:59: It doesn’t look great from a Warwick perspective here as we trail by 19 … nets? to 35. Alex has just described Coventry as “fudging dynamite”. Well he didn’t use that word, but this is before the watershed and we know how much traffic this liveblog gets from the loyal younger audience in the ad breaks to In the Night Garden.

19:02: The rules of this game make composure on the final shot absolutely crucial and I genuinely don’t understand how the girls can do it with this crowd as loud as they are. Warwick’s Goal Attack (whose name I should know as she’s in one of my seminars, but that’s social awkwardness for you) pulls one back for Warwick with a swish shot to make it 26-38.

19:06: I feel you, buddy. #Preach

19:08: Coventry’s Coach, who looks a bit like Odd Job from Goldfinger, by the way, is shouting encouragement from the sidelines and I’m doing my best to set up a screaming war but I’m just one man against a terrifying cheering Goliath.

19:12: Game ends 29-42 to Coventry. The girls battled hard, but it wasn’t to be. They’re huddled together and hopefully congratulating themselves on what was a great performance. Coventry end singing “Who the f*ck are Warwick Uni?”, great banter or lack of class? Not sure myself.

19:18: Elsewhere, we’re fairing slightly better as the Squash is pretty much in the bag.

19:29: Shameless self promotion of my own account but here we have the Gaffer talking to Raw Sport about the goings on of Day 2 and showing us print lovers can keep with the times and go multi-platform. #Fusion #WeCanDoItAll #HesSoDreamy

19:35: Warm-ups for the Basketball are well under way and I have once again chosen the worst possible position directly next to the speakers, but I’m pretending it doesn’t bother me and my eardrums aren’t bleeding. “You know, you acting like you don’t know” – Fiddy, 2010

19:45: Moved away from that racket and come down to Desso to watch some Volleyball instead. Turned out to be a great decision as Warwick lead the men’s game by 18 to 14 in the closing stages. Getting slightly paranoid about the dust bunnies next to my seat and taking a slap shot to the nose but I will plough on in the name of Sport.

19:50: This one should be tasty. Our Power Rankings top team, the cream of our sporting crop, up against the Coventry Basketball bully boys. It doesn’t get any bigger. Shingi Mararike is on this one.

19:53: Feeling uber, uber pumped award for the best Varsity pre-game playlist far and away goes to the Basketball lot. Drake, the man of the moment in pop culture, blaring. YOU MIGHT JUST GET HIT WITH THE RICO. 

19:55: Trap music, trap music is the answer trap music is the key. We might just win Varsity off the back of it. It’s about to tip off.

19:58 Cov have a very long team height wise, they look like they’ve been put into a stretching machine in comparison to their more slender Warwick opponents. Reminds me of Space Jam because when all tenous pop culture comparisons fail we we always have Michael Jordan.

20:01: Coventry’s photographer just slipped in through the side door and sidled by the wall… Get rid, get rid. He’s only here to capture the demise of his poly in snaps anyways. The only things worse than a thrashing is a thrashing with photographic evidence.

20:05: HO MY GOD. I just looked up into the rafters… There’s loads of them up there wielding garish Magenta flags.

20:06: Fancy doing something akin to Sky Sports multi-screen, red button flashiness? Motorsport are streaming their fixture on Periscope. Do it. You know you want to.

20:10: Stars of Varsity? Look no further than the Sports Hall. Shaq Amon Ra Warwick Basketball’s backcourt starlet and top scorer is slicker than a tub of vaseline and a potent shooter. He pulls up for a beautiful three, Steph Curry with the shot boy.

20:13: Also, Temi Shakir is a monster on the defensive end picking up rebounds like I pick up Pie from the Arts Centre, trust me that’s a lot of Pi-I mean rebounds.

20:20: Quick tangential side note because we love those. I’m wearing dangerously bright trainers that probably are a cardinal sin every other day but since they’re sort of in line with the Wondrous Warwick red I get a free pass just for today. Even a wizened seminar tutor of mine once ribbed me for wearing these. #FashionMartyr 

20:26: This is a battle and a half. Proof of what form and confidence can do for a side, even against supposedly better opponents. We’re hanging in there fighting tooth and nail and winning. Without sounding overly enthusiastic about everything, but this could be the turning point in this Varsity series.

20:32: Love Varsity and I love the atmosphere but the colour clash is just horrendous beyond belief. Red versus, Magenta, it’s sort of like pack of starburst vomited than exploded in it’s own vomit. Yes imagery. 

20:36: Update from Warwick Snow and it’s HUGE. BREAKING (Cov hearts) #PolySmashed. We got the win.

20:38: A voice just descended from heaven in the form of the MC. Best thing I’ve heard since they said I could come here…. The natural order of the Universe has been restored, the pain is over, the bleeding has been stemmed. Warwick now lead Varsity. 

20:43: Also how did I miss this? 

20:51: 32-32 in the opening minutes of the second half, still close, still intense. 

20:59: The Cov coach is a real motivator, some frank words and the Magenta army have brought the fire,or FIYAH to be more precise, moving into a slender lead. Can’t even stop to wipe the sweat off my brow it’s that high intensity. 

21:02: Wait did that really just friggin happen? Someone on the Cov bench made a weird wailing, rattling, tongue rolling sound and man of the match so far Temi Shakir duly sent his free throw out off the rim. NOT FAIR.

21:12: Respect where it’s due. These guys are pretty good, pretty strong and pretty physical. A trifecta that’s seen them surge into a 6 point lead. Ah, you can see the Warwick shoulders sinking a little. 

21:16: We’re winning though, like Varsity as a whole. Just thought I’d make it as plain as day. 

21:17: Somebody hire this Cov Basketball coach to be my life coach, he’s the kind of man I’d love to hear screaming in my ear in the morning before a lung-busting run along the beach with the cold wind in my face. Hands in and he screams “Win this quarter and we’ve won this Varsity, let’s do this lads”

21:30: We may have just got the closest thing to a Varsity hooligan shenanigan… A stray Cov supporter flies onto the sideline court side and bounces up and down, the veins in his temple throbbing and his eyes wide. He said something indiscernible and had his lot screaming.


21:37: Lol continuing with the SABB theme George Creasy just grabbed the mic for a rousing rendition of “Let’s Go Warwick, Let’s go!” What a man, grabbing mics at random almost as well as Kanye West. 1 MINUTE OR SO left, Warwick down 3 it’s a one possession game. 

21:45: That’s it the final buzzer. Sorry for the time lapse with no updates, I was just climbing out of the burrow of pain and disappointment I’d dug once Cov nailed their final three pointer to put the game beyond Warwick. Talk about insult to injury the Cov heckler, hooligan guy is back on the sidelines beside the Coventry bench yelling “C-O-V, COV, C-O-V, COV.” That chant is a solid 3.5 out of 10.

21:47: Shout out to Warwick for battling right down to the wire in what was a great game of basketball, played with intensity on each end of the floor, a Bruising clash with all the gritty hallmarks of a classic Varsity tussle. The Magenta army may have won this battle but the war is only just hotting up. 

22:00: Once again Cov are ending the day on top… Could they actually win this and end the years of embarrassment? Looks like they’re starting to believe. Tomorrow will be pivotal. The project now is simple, the task clear with so much at stake, we’ve got to chase the runaway poly before things get out of hand. Boar Sport over and out. We hope you enjoyed the clockwatch and keep your eyes peeled for more sporting fun tomorrow. 


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