Review: Paddy McGuinness on faeces, children and the Electronic Dream Phone

Paddy McGuinness has been a mainstay of television comedy for many years now, his work with Peter Kay in Phoenix Nights and Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere leading to such shows as love-‘em-up choosefest Take Me Out and Celebrity Benchmark. I had been introduced to him by my father when I was little, so the chance to see him live and doing stand-up was something we were both very excited about – suffice to say, McGuinness did not disappoint.

The first half of the show dealt with children and faeces, the two not being as mutually exclusive as you would imagine. McGuinness talked about his children, and how they aren’t exactly the bundles of joy that are promised by other parents – he related a couple of examples, including a fantastic story about getting his face caught in the splash zone while changing his son. Now, anyone who has ever seen a comedian with children (or even without, if they’re particularly angry) knows that kids can be a fertile area for humour, and this is certainly true of McGuinness – he even manages to get away with remarks that could be considered cruel or crude because he is such a likeable stage presence.

leads the way to what must be half an act’s worth of poo talk

This is most clear during McGuinness’ story about the first time he had anal sex, an amusing tale anyway before it reaches its inevitably foul scatological conclusion. This sees the first appearance of a phrase that would recur throughout the show (after McGuinness looked back at the faeces-stained bedsheets, the woman asked ‘what’s the matter – you’re not afraid of a bit of shit, are you?’) and leads the way to what must be half an act’s worth of poo talk that. If you’d told me this would have been one of the main topics of discussion, I would have laughed in your face! Still, it made for a great gag involving one of his catchphrases – ‘no lighty, no shitey.’

The second half, ‘Paddy’ rather than ‘Daddy,’ dealt with more traditional stand-up after the kid talk (although faeces still played a large part), with an amusing discussion of a 90s kid’s toy called the Electronic Dream Phone. McGuinness went through the cards of the characters in the game, mercilessly but hilariously offering us his observations on the lame men that could’ve been your admirer. I didn’t know it – I’ve since looked it up, and it’s basically Cluedo with dorky men instead of murder – but it was engaging nonetheless.

the two hours with him felt like a night out with an old friend

The encore saw McGuinness go all preacher, reading from a black book full of everyday niggles that annoy everyone, and encouraging the audience to join in, shouting ‘Fuck you!’ like the world’s angriest gospel choir. It was a fantastic way to end, leaving the room on a high with everyone getting involved and laughing along as they did so. This was a good evening – McGuinness is a natural stage presence, warm and engaging from the go, and the two hours with him felt like a night out with an old friend. If you get the chance to go and see him, I would definitely recommend it.