A critique of library etiquette

Alice Cornelius examines the annoyances of library users at an academic level…

In my critique of my fellow students’ behaviour in the library I do not intend to attack the staff who work at the library, who I know are hardworking yet mostly powerless when it comes to the cruel misbehaviours of some of the student body. I asked a wide spectrum of students about their opinions on library misbehaviour; thus the complaints herein encapsulate the views of a fairly proportional spectrum of the student community. There are three themes that appeared to summarise people’s complaints about lib-iquette (a self-invented word, but I look forward to its entry into the Oxford dictionary): food, noise and desks.

I will begin by discussing the problems of food in the library; I confess I am guilty of a few of the following complaints, as food helps me to study and I love carrots… accept my heartfelt apologies if you are reading this and hating me from afar. As the lift lady pleasantly reminds us every time we arrive at our destination, floors three to five are for bottled water only; however some particularly hardened rebels flout these rules to the disgust of their fellow students. A second year maths student despaired particularly at the fact that some anarchic rule-breakers tend to eat strong smelling food in the library; pickled onion-flavoured Monster Munch was an especially offensive stench. As remarked before, I confess that I do eat in the library, but in light of the atrocities of which I am about to tell you, I consider my consumption of carrots merely a small misdemeanour.

Photo: Breville USA / Flickr

I shall now review noise as a whole. A fourth-year Sociology student angrily stated that shockingly, floor two is sometimes used as a rowdy social area which is a huge irritation for those of us wishing to partake in more quiet activities. Worse is the existence of any social interaction whatsoever on floors three to five. Loud and frankly obnoxious, whispering is not subtle guys, and the abomination that is people talking loudly by the lifts is infuriating. I don’t know if people think that the lift area is somehow a magical vacuum of sound, or if they forget themselves in the excitement of leaving the library, but this despicable behaviour must be stopped immediately.

I don’t know if people think that the lift area is somehow a magical vacuum of sound, or if they forget themselves in the excitement of leaving the library

Finally, I shall conclude with a grief-stricken report on what I consider to be the most shocking breach of lib-iquette: who would have thought that there were so many ways that one could cause anguish with a desk? From the wise lips of a Mechanical Engineering student comes the protest against people using laptops on desks with computers on them; this selfish affront must be stopped now. The ultimate evil which causes my heart to break into a million pieces is when people leave their personal belongings on a desk to go to lectures/lunch/the pub/deep sea diving for hours. A desk is not a storage area for your stuff; I am tempted to start a business where I collect left-behind laptops and sell them on eBay, which I am sure will earn me more money than my part-time job (this is just a joke, please do not call the police). All in all, desk atrocities are unforgivable, and, like noise barbarity, should be punished by expulsion… or worse.

I hope that this critique enlightens you ne’er-do-wells who are guilty of these crimes to the pain that your fellow students are feeling; the library should be an oasis away from the everyday struggles we go through at university, and you are blighting it with your disregard for lib-iquette. Thank you.