TV Licensing needs YOU

In an exercise of propaganda that hasn’t been seen since the days of conscription, the people at TV Licensing have been threatening innocent students all over campus with letters and posters reminding us of the law, insisting that we all do need a licence, especially if you think you don’t. Unfortunately they have been less than clear about what the law actually states.

I am not against buying a TV Licence. If you have a TV in your room or communal area that you use to watch TV, the law is clear-cut: you need a licence. What is a bit more ambiguous is the case of laptops and this is where I have a bone to pick. The TV Licensers with their vast propaganda fund have got it in their heads to trick and deceive us to the point of pure fear so that we will fork out the £145.50 for a licence when, in many cases, there is simply no need.

This term was the same as any other. One morning I found a familiar letter on my doorstep asking if I needed a licence. I replied I did not. Then a couple of weeks later I received a letter saying I was under investigation. At this point I panicked. Damn, I thought, they’ve caught me with their radar vans (these don’t exist by the way, apparently they don’t only pick on students) watching _Match of the Day_ on my laptop. If only they could get the rights to put it on iPlayer!

Browsing the back of the letter I was met with what I could only assume to be a terrible joke. The letter states a TV Licence is not required if the following three ‘rare’ conditions hold: 1)Your permanent address is your parents house, 2) They have a TV Licence, 3) You watch TV on a device that is not connected to mains electricity. Rare conditions! I didn’t think there were that many international students on campus with desktops.

Then I wondered, all the posters on campus made me sure that I needed a licence, so I read them a little more closely. Here is what they say: ‘When you’re in halls, plugged in and ready to use your laptop to watch television programmes as they’re being shown on TV, your parents’ TV Licence won’t cover you.’ Slipped in their as though it is a manner of speech, the crucial words ‘plugged in’.

Similarly on their website they say ‘But just remember, whatever you’re watching live online, you’ll need to be covered by a TV Licence – no matter what device you use. Your hall’s licence won’t cover you, and you may not be covered by your parents’ licence. Thankfully, it’s easy to buy your own.’ What next in this shameless propaganda campaign? Gott mit uns? After clicking on the link by ‘parents’ licence’ it takes me to the bottom of the page, where I find out the truth: ‘[y]our parents’ TV Licence will not cover you while you are away at university unless you only use a device that’s powered solely by its own internal batteries. You must not plug it into the mains when using it to receive TV.’ Oh what is the term for those devices that you can watch TV on that have their own internal batteries? Oh yeah, that’s right, a laptop.

So to all of you, next time you’re watching _X Factor_ or _Match of the Day_ live on your laptop without a licence; chill out. It’s legal. Just don’t plug it in.

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