Romance, humour, and yearning: Sitcom relationships

While countless TV shows feature memorable romances, the sitcom has a magical way of capturing characters who repeatedly miss their chance with one another, only to realise that the person they were destined for had been sitting across from them all along. That is the beauty of the slow burn, best captured by Jim and Pam (The Office) and Jake and Amy (Brooklyn Nine-Nine). While the audience often knows immediately, the enjoyment of slow-burn romances comes from waiting for the characters to catch up and realise that they are in love.

Part of what makes Jim and Pam’s romance so effective is that it is built almost entirely out of ordinary moments, working together in an office that is intentionally unremarkable. Instead of grand romantic settings, there are desks and boring meetings. But Jim finds ways to make those ordinary days enjoyable, mainly for Pam. He gives her someone to share the absurdity of the office with, as their relationship builds through hundreds of tiny interactions that do not seem particularly romantic alone. While the audience watches them develop their own language through jokes and looks that make their romance feel inevitable, Pam’s engagement at the beginning of the series creates the problem, with Jim too afraid of losing his friendship to make a move.

That makes ‘Casino Night’ an important turning point, with Jim finally telling Pam he loves her, and for once the sitcom stops hiding behind jokes. While he tells her exactly how he feels, and we know that Pam truly does love him back, the scene is devastating because wanting something and being ready to act on it are not the same thing.

Then comes their messy and uncertain kiss that ends the episode, and it is not the perfect romantic pay-off the audience might expect after two seasons of build-up. But that is why it works; their first kiss is not the end of their story. Jim and Pam represent normal and ordinary love, marked by uncertainty and fear, delayed by miscommunication but ending with Jim simply asking Pam if she is free for dinner in season three.

Jake and Amy take the slow-burn formula and make it much louder, communicating through arguments and increasingly ridiculous competitions to prove they are better than the other. While at first they appear to simply tolerate each other’s personalities, the audience soon learns that they are fascinated by one another. Jake finds Amy’s organisation and competitiveness hilarious, but he also admires how seriously she takes her career. Amy thinks Jake is immature and irresponsible, but she also sees his intelligence and his ability to connect with people. Their arguments have genuine affection beneath them.

What makes them particularly satisfying is that their romance does not require either character to compromise who they are. Instead, they learn to appreciate those qualities in one another. Jake does not fall in love with some generic version of a woman he finds attractive; he falls in love with Amy in all her extremely specific Amy-ness. This is reflected in Jim as well, who famously recalls that Pam’s favourite flavour of yoghurt is mixed berry, long before they are ever dating.

Sitcoms have the advantage of being able to continue romance even after the couple gets together. Both couples have tonavigate married life and the pressure of children within the careers that initially brought them together. They both make sacrifices, with Pam agreeing to move to Austin to pursue Jim’s new career in season nine, and Jake stepping down from the force to take care of their son in season eight.

The love story is therefore never just the kiss in sitcoms; it is rooted in the knowledge and understanding the characters have for each other. They are not built entirely around attraction, but instead friendship. They have seen each other at their most embarrassing moments; they know each other’s insecurities as well as each other’s fears. They have watched each other fail, and yet they stay. We watch the glances, the jokes, the almost-confessions, and the moments of terrible timing, because the destination is not really the point. The point is watching two people slowly become each other’s person.