Lady Thistledown: A rather rotten affair

Dearest Wild Reader,

Do you believe in ghosts?

Spooky season has cast darkness and cold across our woodlands and roused many ghoulish fancies from their resting places. So if you venture into the woods this autumn, do take care – these frightful sights are most unfit for polite society!

Cast your gaze across rotting trunks and you may encounter ghastly, twisted black fungi which resemble a corpse’s hand reaching towards the heavens. These, dear reader, are known as dead man’s fingers – enough to make one clutch at one’s pearls! But appearances can be deceptive – on closer inspection, the black powdery surface is simply where this fungus bears its spores, atop a bone-white flesh layer.

European legend says that if this fungus grows on the entrance to a house, those within have been cursed by a witch

If you should turn away in horror, I’m afraid there may be other unsavoury characters lurking around the corner. On oak trunks grows the beefsteak fungus, appearing as though it has escaped from a butcher’s window. Its fleshy, blood-red appearance is quite revolting, resembling a raw slab of meat. It even oozes a blood-like substance – a gruesome sight indeed!

A slightly less repulsive, but rather more sinister fungus takes the form of a yellow jelly. This is known as yellow brain, a cannibal of other fungi residing on dead wood. But the evil does not end there – it is often called witch’s butter, as European legend says that if this fungus grows on the entrance to a house, those within have been cursed by a witch. Certainly an unwanted visitor!

So, if you dare take a turn about our dark and gloomy woodlands, look out for these ominous horrors! In this leafy underworld lies a society of its own, where the grotesque rule, reputations are questionable, and even the most unassuming may be hiding a scandalous secret.

Until next time, dear reader, may your promenades be pleasant, your company agreeable, and your fungi decidedly less sinister.

Yours spookily,

Lady Thistledown