What to order when you can’t be bothered: Good food that fixes

There are good days, and days when you want to rip your hair off your head. It feels like the universe is cornering you, putting you on the spot as you struggle to act like your usual self. It can be oddly smothering. Almost a romantic gesture delivered unexpectedly, like your Shein parcel that had been delayed for 3 days now randomly sitting at your doorstep. Those days might include a professor subliminally sending ‘I don’t like you’ signals, getting caught in the rain without an umbrella after a soul-dissipating 8-hour shift or a bad date that wasn’t entirely horrible.

If you’re unlucky, you might be confronted with two dilemmas at once. The second being the awfully exhausting decision-making process of what to cook/order and eat. After the day you’ve had? The audacity, I tell you. So here are some emotion-backed recommendations for some of the situations you might encounter if the universe hates you. It’s easier to listen to your gut when what your gut wants is within a zero-delivery fee radius on Deliveroo.

The ‘I’m intelligent but oh-so-humble’ perception 

Situation A: You raised your hand in class to say something that, in hindsight, makes you sound stupid, like it was your first day on earth. Your confidence is now in crumbs stuck to the bottom of the leather shoes you shouldn’t have worn on a rainy day.

Suggestion: It feels like all the damage to the ‘I’m intelligent but oh-so-humble’ perception you’ve spent months constructing has already been done. What more could a few scary spicy ingredients do? This calls for Chilli Garlic Noodles, with a side of pan-fried dumplings. The sticky dumpling wrapper that takes an additional chew to bite open and the juices from the filling trickling down your chin. The oil coats your lips as you chew on plump chunks of meat laced with fresh green onion feels like slipping into a hot tub; warm, engulfing, relaxing. The chilligarlic noodles that wake up your taste buds, the tiny bites of chilli crisp that tailgate the noodle will remind you that life isn’t entirely dull. What you needed was a little exposure to your local Chinese takeout spot, to remind you that life isn’t always cold and grey like a meal-deal – there are other flavours out there. For the next thirty minutes, there are other things to think about than what other people think of you.

Luteal phase hell

Situation B: The Urban Outfitters online sale that looted you during your supreme confidence ovulation phase has left you with just enough money to take the 12X to campus on Thursday. But the luteal cramps are demanding indulgent, luxurious, filled doughnuts that feel like they would silence the hormones raging inside you.

Suggestion: Fast food, definitely. McDonald’s seems relatively cheap. At this point, gluten is basically a Band-Aid. Get the Big Mac, with fries (you’re eating for two, yourself and the PMS witch in you) and a large McFlurry (Oreo, maybe Biscoff if that’s still on the menu). It takes the right mix of soft dough buns, processed meat and fried potatoes to make the potion that heals. Throw in a coming-of-age movie and eat this meal in the dark for a better experience. 

The date

Situation C: The guy who has been triple texting you for 3 weeks cancels 30 minutes before your date. The date was his idea and you had to convince yourself to say yes to it. Now you’re halfway through the third round of frying your hair to fight frizz, your makeup looks incredible and getting unready feels just as daunting as getting ready did. Why would he chase you like that if he was going to cancel?

Suggestion: Uber to Miller and Carter. Get yourself a good-looking medium-rare steak with the soy and mirin pork belly. You were going to pay for dinner anyways. Something about having your fingertips resting on the cold ridges of good cutlery makes a meal ritualistic and slow. The decadence of red meat and the velvety creaminess of a jus can be counted on to change the course of your day. When you’re seated under dim lights, slowly and intentionally carving out a piece of steak whose rich but subtle gaminess makes you salivate, you anchor yourself to the present. And that’s what good food does.

{Food can} simply remind you that a bad day can still contain something good

Food cannot be entirely defined by taste alone. The best meals change the pace of your day. They slow you down when you’ve spent the whole day rushing mindlessly, give you something to look forward to when someone or something has disappointed you, or simply remind you that a bad day can still contain something good. Sometimes, food catalyses bond-deepening conversations. A good first date, the dinner celebrating your promotion, birthdays, anniversaries, funerals. It helps reach emotional spaces that can’t be fully filled by human connection. A good meal, whether accompanied by mirth or melancholy, meets us exactly where we are. It won’t fix your life, but it will fix the ending to your day.