The self-improvement trap

Quick! They’re coming. Their skin is sparkling; their looks are incomparable – I knew twilight would teach me something. They don’t sleep, they don’t eat, they’ve got beauty, speed, and intelligence … but is it just me or is that vampire holding a matcha? Are they screaming for my blood or for my Strava details? When the latest outbreak on social media is centred around wellness, it is easy to lose ourselves in the aesthetic details and forget to think critically about how people are achieving these perfect lifestyles. To avoid becoming the next victims of a potentially predatory trend designed to ‘lure us in’ with constant self-criticism and comparison, let’s investigate self-improvement.

From flawless skincare routines to a ‘that girl’ mindset, young people are increasingly being encouraged to view self-improvement as a constant project. Whether it’s better skin, better habits, better bodies, or better routines, there is a growing sense on social media platforms that every aspect of life can be improved, tracked, and perfected. Superficially, the rise of wellness culture seems harmless or even beneficial to creating a healthy lifestyle, with most young people seeming to face more peer pressure to sign up for Pilates classes than to smoke or drink. But when does self-care become self-surveillance? Is self-improvement still desirable if it comes at the price of being able to just ‘be’?

We are left feeling constantly inadequate when surrounded by the toxic standards set by others’ highlight reels

The current wellness trends centre around the ideal female figure: ‘that girl’. ‘That girl’ may be a Zendaya or Sydney Sweeney archetype – someone who has it all in a flawlessly curated lifestyle. This may include rising at 5am, cleansing green juice, mindful movement, gratitude journaling, and skincare routines – all while maintaining a flourishing social life. However, unless we’re Barbie who can have hundreds of alter egos to do the boring bits for us, her lifestyle may be just a smidge unrealistic. Despite this, the upward comparison loop created with the rise of social media has created immense pressure to be productive every moment. We are left feeling constantly inadequate when surrounded by the toxic standards set by others’ highlight reels.

The impact that toxic self-improvement is having on the youngest generation can be noticed predominantly in terms of skincare. Children as young as four and five are now enthusing over skincare products and posting ‘get ready with me’ videos on TikTok. Rather than indulging in child-friendly makeup out of a Lelli Kelley shoebox, these children are using sophisticated products that advertise flawless skin and anti-ageing. It’s difficult to draw the line between harmless fun and girls being permanently conditioned to think there is something wrong with the way that they look.

Beauty-obsessed young people may grow up with a distorted view of how they should look, with younger and younger recruits being pulled into the cesspool of toxic motivation

The term ‘cosmeticorexia’ is being defined by dermatologists as having an unhealthy obsession with achieving ‘flawless’ skin from a young age, with even pre-teens refusing to socialise without makeup and spending hours out of their day watching skincare videos. Consultant dermatologist Dr Jean Ayer outlines the irony in this craze, as she points out, “when you’re little, your skin is in perfect condition”. The skincare trend of girls, without a single wrinkle, obsessing over anti-ageing, is a prime example of how the overarching focus on wellness on social media can have detrimental effects. Beauty-obsessed young people may grow up with a distorted view of how they should look, with younger and younger recruits being pulled into the cesspool of toxic motivation.

Even if participating in wellness trends is enjoyable for most of these children, the focus on beauty creates pressure that prevents them from being able to just ‘be,’ which can extend into perfectionism, anxiety or eating disorders in later life – alongside the underlying sense that the self isn’t quite enough.

Alongside the impact on self-esteem, a predominant drawback of current wellness trends is that they don’t acknowledge the privileges needed to participate. YouTuber Leilani Lei made a video essay on the topic, where she highlights the narrow standards and pool of comparison that the ‘that girl’ lifestyle is founded on. While the trend began as self-care, it has shifted to destructive competition that feeds into both classism and modern-day beauty standards. Though the trend is promoted as a lifestyle that allows you to be ‘effortlessly put together’, it can be viewed as more of an aesthetic that encourages complete conformity. ‘That girl’ is thin, photogenic, effortlessly beautiful, predominantly white, and someone we’re all expected to aspire to. With these unrealistic standards being promoted as the baseline for a productive life, ‘that girl’ has created slim standards as to what it means to live a successful life. This ultimately creates a low sense of self-worth when we cannot live up to the illusion.

The wellness industry has created a black-and-white approach to life, where everything you do must fit the image aesthetic

Though there are obviously benefits to eating healthily and maintaining a routine, the social media economy built around self-improvement refuses to acknowledge any aspects of moderation, promoting a very ‘all-or-nothing’ approach to life. If you have both morning and evening routines to optimise your productivity, there isn’t much room for flexibility – if you want to be ‘that girl,’ say goodbye to spontaneous drinks out with friends, or late-night phone calls. The wellness industry has created a black-and-white approach to life, where everything you do must fit the image aesthetic.

For example, with ‘that girl’ being expected to constantly eat whole foods, something as simple as birthday cake or a celebratory takeaway becomes a moral failure in terms of maintaining the persona. The idea that every aspect of life can be perfected ultimately means that wellness becomes moralistic rather than genuine self-improvement. ‘That girl’ has essentially become a cover for restrictive dieting and image obsession, a way for the wellness industry to glorify under-eating and over-exercising to fit the current Hollywood beauty standards. Alongside this, superfoods like avocado toast or ginger shots are expensive – as clinical psychologist Dr Roberta Babb puts it, “there’s no acknowledgement of the privilege the ‘That Girl’ trend is built on.”

Ultimately, the rise of self-improvement is a mixed bag. Though in some ways it is positive, in that it promotes showing up for your mental and physical health, the wellness industry needs to step back and consider what it really means to live a healthy but realistic life. Rather than promoting ‘that girl’ as a certain aesthetic, we should acknowledge that we all have different ways of showing up for ourselves – sometimes we just need to do a Mackenzie Ziegler and stay home and eat chips, and that should be okay too. Self-improvement can make us feel better about ourselves as long as it comes alongside balance, rather than striving for perfectionism. In this way, we could consider keeping the psychology of being ‘that girl’ in terms of improving self-confidence and building healthy habits, without the pressure to maintain it all the time. There are definitely elements that we should take from the trend – for example, it’s probably a good thing that I’ve been influenced into drinking water rather than Pepsi Max.