The joys of… doing it scared

If you met me as a child, or even now on a bad day, the first word to come to mind would be quiet. Or maybe shy. I hate to admit it, but your words would be right. I am notoriously nervous, and what began as a fear of heights, rats, elevators, the dark (maybe it would be quicker to list what I wasn’t scared of as a child…) has morphed into a hatred of telephones and a propensity to overthinking.

Sometimes I worry (there it is again!) that my life will pass me by and I’ll be too scared to do anything but sit and watch it. I plan to do things, and while waiting for the right time to start, to feel confident, I just don’t do it. The deadline passes, I kick myself, then do it again and again and again.

I have a long list of things I want to do in my life, but I put them off with the thought that I’d rather wait until I’m prettier, smarter, less nervous

This is where doing it scared comes in. I first encountered the idea while on my phone. My feed is mainly dogs and sad edits, so I scrolled past it quickly, surprised to even see it. The concept stayed with me though.

I have a long list of things I want to do in my life, but I put them off with the thought that I’d rather wait until I’m prettier, smarter, less nervous. I’ve noticed though recently that while my list keeps getting longer and longer, I stay the same. Nothing gets done.

This year I’ve tried to be brave – it wasn’t easy, and I’m not sure I did particularly well, but I tried. I applied to a job which I got, and I now enjoy. I added a language degree to my module; I was dreadful at it, worst in my class I fear, but I tried, and it was pretty fun. I even gave ice skating a go. It left my legs black and blue, but far from my worries of seeming silly and being judged, I left happy. Really happy – I’ll probably regret it when I’m eighty, and my knees are knackered, but I’m trying to go regularly.

I know it’s a cliché and I know it’s easier said than done, but life is unpredictable and sometimes short; spending it sitting in the corner choking on your own fear is no way to go, so sometimes you really do have to take the plunge and do it scared.