Monster of the week: Gregg Wallace

Everyone fears cancel culture. An internet-based judicial system that, in reality, holds much less power than people like to pretend it does. The concept of cancel culture, though, well, that is terrifying.

We are often told that after someone is cancelled, their life is basically over. How does one attempt to adapt to this post-cancelation world? This is a question renowned TV chef, contentious personality, and all-round dodgy fella Gregg Wallace has been asking himself a lot recently.

Perhaps only the second most controversial celebrity to go out in the second week of Strictly Come Dancing, Gregg really was the face of BBC food for a long time. They would send him around biscuit factories in Inside the Factory, they would send him to families trying to save money in Eat Well for Less, and of course, he was the co-presenter of the Rolls-Royce of cooking shows, MasterChef.

Gregg was never too far from controversy

Then began his illustrious Channel 5 days, collecting documentary specials like a prime Louis Theroux: Gregg Wallace’s Magical Christmas Market, Gregg Wallace’s Grand Christmas Adventure, and, how can we forget, Big Weekends with Gregg Wallace.

Throughout all of this success, though, Gregg was never too far from controversy. Sir Rod Stewart called him a “tubby, bald-headed, ill-mannered bully” after his criticisms of his wife on MasterChef. And infamously, there was the time when, asked on Twitter if he could retweet someone doing a charity run, Gregg replied only to correct that the poster had spelt his name as ‘Greg’, rather than ‘Gregg’. Not quite the endorsement the guy was looking for.

And who could forget his iconic ‘day in the life’ interview with The Telegraph? In it, he awakes at 5:30am every day (why?), before later arriving half an hour before opening time at his local gym, where they let him in early just so he can have a swim and sauna by himself: “I have less than 18 percent body fat and a six-pack, but I have a belly that bloats. I guess we all have our imperfections.” Words that I’m sure David Brent would be proud of saying.

The real peril in Gregg’s career began, however, when he was sacked from his MasterChef job

He then has the 90-minute allotted ‘spend time with son’ portion of his day. He goes on later to explain: “I’m a much better father now I’m older, although another child isn’t something that I would have chosen at my age. It’s what [my wife] wanted and I love her.” Words of praise, I’m sure, any child wishes to hear from their father. A real history boffin, he then spends two hours alone playing Total War Saga: Thrones of Britannia. Half an hour more than was allotted to time with his son, but I am sure we can all agree that historical computer games are a much better use of all of our time.

The real peril in Gregg’s career began, however, when he was sacked from his MasterChef job in November 2024, whilst allegations of ‘historical misconduct’ were investigated. Although Gregg denies them, an independent investigation upheld 45 out of 83 of the complaints, including one count of unwanted physical contact.

Gregg, with perhaps not his best move, decided to confront the allegations head-on with an impromptu Instagram post, describing the complaints as ‘noise’ from (in a truly brilliant bit of phrasing) “middle-class women of a certain age.” Really, it is unclear what point he was trying to make here. Is this an allegation of classism – uppity wealthy women picking on a small-time greengrocer? Or is this a dig at women of a certain age, presumed by everyone to mean middle-aged women, but in reality (as this is not clarified), it could literally be about any age group of women.

Gregg is not afraid of cancel culture

Gregg then pivoted, as all celebrities in a scandal must, to alleging the behaviour was related to a recent autism diagnosis. He went on to describe the working conditions as ‘dangerous’ for someone with his condition. What? As put plainly by Emily Banks, the founder of the neurodiversity training group Enna, this “doesn’t absolve anyone of responsibility.”

But do not worry – Gregg is not afraid of cancel culture. He has a new career, selling short video messages on Cameo. With endless birthdays, anniversaries, and other occasions to celebrate, I am sure Gregg will be busy for a long, long time. You can hope, anyway.

It seems it was not just ‘middle-class women of a certain age’ who had a problem with Gregg Wallace. Nevertheless, I’m sure Channel 5 are eagerly sitting by the phone, waiting for Gregg to dream up his next big documentary. And if not, anyone got a birthday coming up? Thanks, Greg!