Fight the FOMO: Why you need to miss out more often

When I first came to the University of Warwick, my most pressing concern was being alone. I worried I’d eat my meals in silence, spend weekends holed up in my room, and monotonously carry out errands with no human interaction. Like most freshers, I was terrified of failing to insert myself into the social network and ending up with a rather boring university experience.

To my surprise, I quickly found a lovely circle of people who made my first year infinitely better than I had expected. Whether it was spontaneous nights out and wholesome dinners or casual midnight conversations and Tesco runs, there was never a dull moment – and I’ve never felt so lucky.

I’ve realised that university isn’t just about collecting experiences with others; it’s also about learning who you are when no one else is around

The ironic twist, however, is that my fear of boredom quickly morphed into a fear of missing out (FOMO). I had such a good time whenever I hung out with my friends that I couldn’t bear the thought of saying ‘no’ to anything. It didn’t matter if I was ill, overwhelmed, or completely burnt out; FOMO convinced me it was worth the toll it was taking.

The pressure wasn’t from anyone else – it was from me. I convinced myself that being constantly present was proof of ‘doing university right.’ Even when I saw friends taking healthy breaks, I couldn’t bring myself to do the same. The idea of being forgotten or left behind outweighed the reality that I couldn’t, and shouldn’t, be everywhere at once.

I’ve realised that university isn’t just about collecting experiences with others; it’s also about learning who you are when no one else is around. So, this year, I’m making more space for myself.

Here are a few ideas for activities that can help you reconnect with yourself:

1. Solo errands: A quick independent Tesco run with your headphones in, moving at your own pace, can be a surprisingly peaceful way to quieten the mind.
2. A study date with yourself: Nobody loves a chatty, “productive” study session with friends more than I do, but a solo study session now and then keeps you focused and gives you a sense of accomplishment on your own terms.
3. Get creative: Pick up a new skill or revisit a neglected hobby. It could be baking, guitar, painting, or some DIY crafts. It’s just you and Pinterest against the world.
4. Start a solo tradition: Create a ritual that’s yours alone to help you wind down and detox from socialising. Whether it’s binging true-crime documentaries, writing scathing Letterboxd reviews, or some pre-bedtime yoga, make it something that feels like you.

University is as much about self-discovery as it is about making memories with others – and you can’t do much reflecting if your mind is always caught up in the crowd

These moments alone don’t make me less social. They make me better company, both to others and to myself. I can show up for my friends with more energy, instead of stretching myself thin just to avoid ‘missing out.’

Sometimes, that’s the point: time apart doesn’t weaken friendships or make you less involved. It gives you breathing space, perspective, and the chance to value the moments you share. University is as much about self-discovery as it is about making memories with others – and you can’t do much reflecting if your mind is always caught up in the crowd.

So, to any eager freshers ready to make their mark on the social community, or any fellow second years excited to chase the highs of first year, I think it’s okay to miss out every once in a while, and probably healthy. You might just find that what you gain in those solo moments is just as important as what you share with your friends.