An appreciation for female friendships as a rebellion against misogyny

Growing up and entering womanhood in our society is no easy task to master – frankly, it is quite the opposite. The challenge of finding oneself, whilst simultaneously being surrounded by gender-typical expectations is, to put it lightly, incredibly tough, and can at times feel ostracising. Especially since, no matter how much guidance or caution you are given by the more mature women in your life, nothing and no one can prepare you for the misogynistic reality of daily life. In that sense, it comes as no surprise that women seek refuge and companionship within their own kind. Female friendships are some of the most important bonds I have had the privilege of experiencing, and arguably, immensely necessary for our communal wellbeing. This article seeks to form an appreciation and delve into the underlying yet vital significance of female friendships in a patriarchal world.

Braiding each other’s hair and talking about boys: for many, it is attributes like these that symbolise the meaning of female friendships. Yet, their essence is so much more than could ever be described. Don’t get me wrong, whilst these are activities I will happily engage in with my girlfriends, they are just the cusp of what it means to be women genuinely engaged with one another. The dismissal of womanhood and being a part of it, is a tale as old as time. But why do we, as a society, feel the need to belittle and ridicule female friendships? How come not only men, but plenty of women themselves, turn away from girl friendships, criticising the concept as a whole?

The first issue to discuss, to put it simply, is internalised misogyny. By no means do I aim to form a generalisation and claim that all women with an abundance of male friends, rather than girlfriends, should fall under the same category. Yet, in some cases, the social phenomenon of internalised misogyny materialises in the form of choosing to distance oneself from other females on the basis of them causing ‘too much drama’. Here, some women are attempting to separate themselves from a certain cultural definition that equates women as inferior, weak, and over-emotional. More importantly, this separation indicates that to be acknowledged as ‘different’ and thus ‘better than the rest’, one needs to depart from typical womanhood as it is shameful.

Female friendships can be one of the purest types of love you will encounter

Referencing pop culture, media, and personal experiences is an understanding that has been adopted plenty of times. Compliments such as “you are not like other girls”, would indicate a separation from “other girls” to be ideal women. “Congratulations, you have made it! You are no longer a part of the stereotypical female gender role and therefore finally a unique woman!”. In reality, there is no such thing as an insult in being like the rest. It simply means you are a part of womanhood, and that should be celebrated, not shied away from.

Female friendships can be one of the purest types of love you will encounter. The deeply rooted myth, that the only relationship worthwhile is one of romantic nature, places male affection and attention at the core of our existence. In reality, this abstract myth often appears in situations where women seek male approval at the risk of neglecting their female support system. Actively over-focusing on the men in their life, which is where social importance lies, instead of fostering truly fulfilling friendships. It is precisely these female friendships that affirm how women can absolutely obtain a multifaceted life and find companionship through their girlfriends without necessarily following the cultural patriarchal system.

It is a privilege to be able to engage in emotionally binding, deep, and authentic female friendship

Personally, my female friends mean everything to me. They understand me in ways no one else does and experiencing life together truly is magical. Especially at university, my girlfriends have positively shaped my experiences here and continue to do so.

In a society in which far too many factors are already rooted against the empowerment of women, we must lift each other up. It is a privilege to be able to engage in emotionally binding, deep, and authentic female friendship. Do not let yourself get robbed of it, simply because society likes to criticise womanhood. See this as a rebellion against misogyny.