How going sober saved my university experience

University has unfortunately become synonymous with drinking due to the culture that permeates both student experience and nightlife. As a third-year student who made the conscious decision to go sober towards the end of 2022, in almost two years of sobriety I have learnt a lot about myself and the university culture I belong to.

I did not have one distinct reason for going sober, but upon reflection, it can be attributed to numerous factors that were affecting my mental health and my university work. In hindsight, I was drinking as a form of escapism: from the stress I was feeling with the workload, moving far away from home, and the anxiety I felt when I was sober in social spaces. This, of course, was not helped by the fact I once believed I had to be drunk on a night out to have a good time. Yet, I was not alone in this, the Students Organising for Sustainability (SOS-UK) during their 2021-22 report on students and their relationship with alcohol and drugs, found 51% thought getting drunk would ensure they had a ‘good’ night out (this was a 13% increase from the year prior).

I want to dispel any stereotype that going sober automatically reduces your social life

As drinking is so deeply entrenched within university culture, it is difficult to fathom the possibility of successfully going sober. Often university is associated with the many newfound freedoms individuals encounter upon turning 18: moving away from home, being surrounded by strangers, and arriving in a culture that finds excessive drinking acceptable. Therefore, it is no wonder that the same SOS-UK report acknowledged that 81% of their respondents believed drinking and getting drunk was part of university culture. University nightlife has developed this culture through the atmosphere it promotes during circling, clubbing, and chaotic society and sports initiations. It is not sustainable to expect universities to altogether ban these activities, as they are often integral to socialisation outside of an academic setting. Instead, universities must be mindful of the culture they are unintentionally contributing to.

This culture often deters sober-curious individuals from choosing a sober university experience. It was one of the reasons that delayed my decision to go sober in my second year, despite experiencing one of the worst downward spirals to my mental health I had seen in years. When I finally decided to go sober, it seemed like a matter of urgency (of course, this is not the same for everyone). I needed to acknowledge my relationship with drinking, rebuild my relationships with those around me, and get back on track with my university assignments and attendance. Amid multiple nights out a week and excruciating hangovers, which only exacerbated my experiences of anxiety and depression, I had neglected to attend lessons or socialise with my peers outside of a drinking setting because sober me was too anxious to go through with it.

I do not want to suggest that going sober provided an immediate and miraculous recovery, this would be unrealistic, but over time I began to notice changes in myself and my comfortability in social spaces at university. It started with the little things: I was sleeping better, interacting with those around me more effectively, responding proactively to my anxiety medication, submitting assignments on time, and attending more and more lessons each week.

I have surprised myself with my ability to stay sober despite being exposed to the university drinking culture

When discussing my sobriety, I want to dispel any stereotype that going sober automatically reduces your social life. After going sober, my social life was able to flourish in more sustainable ways. For instance, I ensured I was surrounding myself with people that I felt safe around, the same people I could be unapologetically myself with, without the social barrier or façade that drinking would provide. This was essential for me to proactively seek out other good things on a night out that did not involve alcohol. This meant that when it came to pub crawls or clubbing, I attended with people who brought out the best in me, who did not encourage me to drink but supported me through my sobriety. This is because, in social settings that are heavily reliant on drinking, the temptation to break sobriety can be prominent. Therefore, the people you surround yourself with are pivotal in facilitating an environment where being sober is considered important and sustainable.

Additionally, I have found going sober has become more feasible due to the alcohol-free alternatives that are available. If temptation is high when you are surrounded by people drinking, which can seem inevitable given university culture, alcohol-free alternatives can provide a safety net to those who are sober. They taste the same, look the same, are cheap, and accessible. Knowing that these alternatives exist helped me substantially during the first few months of my sobriety when I still desired the taste of alcohol.

As I approach almost two years of sobriety and an almost-finished undergraduate degree, I have surprised myself with my ability to stay sober despite being exposed to the university drinking culture. As these months turn to years, I am in disbelief at how my perspective on drinking has changed. I no longer consider drinking to be the only feasible method to having a good time, and, quite honestly, I rarely think about drinking on a night out.

To those who are sober-curious, newly teetotal or desiring a more permanent sobriety, it is possible, even at university (when most of its culture points towards drinking). My advice would be to surround yourself with great people and set up sustainable boundaries to protect yourself and your sobriety. But most importantly: be patient and kind to yourself, it is not easy, but it is possible.