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Boris, Dom and the media con: the latest instalment

Boris & Co. are back at it with more wily tricks coming at you. This time it’s a banishment of journos not sympathetic to the cause. Out are those with any reservations about Boris’ plans for levelling up, rallying round and beefing out. In are the Torygraph and the Mail. One might leap to condemn Boris in these circs, but this strat has Dom Cunning’s fingerprints all over it. The broad idea being: freedom of speech? no thanks.

He’s apparently been setting up a ‘network of spies’ to see if his pawns (correction: ministers) have been fraternising with the enemy (correction: media). Anyone spotted so much as lunching without clearance will face disciplinary action from the overlord. Britain’s answer to Sean Spicer seems to be extending his reach. Sajid Javid might even be out of job because he’s got on the wrong side of this behemoth of the Tory Party machine. But this latest episode goes a bit too far – even for you Dom. People already find it easy to compare Boris to Donald – why make it even easier? Is it not enough that the hair, populism, and general vagueness reek of Trumpism? Are you really going to delve into the Trumpian handbook of media relations too?

People already find it easy to compare Boris to Donald – why make it even easier?

The tactic’s clearly backfired though. I bet you didn’t think that all the ‘reasonable’ (read: possibly pro-Boris) reporters would boycott the event in reaction. What to do now? Remember, as much as you act like it, it’s not America. You won’t get away so easily with that sort of thing on this side of the pond. You could take this opportunity to take the hint and change tack. Who am I kidding?

Dom’s clearly been sticking his fingers into the civil service pie too. Staff this week have been told: “Do not use phrases such as ‘deal/no deal’”. They’ve also been told not to use the B-word. Whilst it’s a terribly clever thought, I can see this tripping some people up. For example, the phrase ‘To make {REDACTED} work better we should get a good {REDACTED} this year’ doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I’m not saying it’ll stifle constructive conversation, but it might restrict productive discussion or hinder effective dialogue.

They’ve also been told not to use the B-word. Whilst it’s a terribly clever thought, I can see this tripping some people up

All this censorship brings back memories of last year. Failing to go a few rounds in the ring with Mr. Neil, not turning up to the C4 climate debate, ‘fact-checking’ the leader’s debate. It seems that the Dom has been emulating the Don for some time now. It is at least of some comfort that a few of his initiatives have fallen by the wayside. Among the more wacky were: moving the House of Lords to York, fast-tracking ‘weirdos and misfits’ to the top of the Whitehall food chain, and transforming Boris’s study into a Star Trek-esque mission control centre. Don’t mistakenly take this as a waning in power; there just has to be a line drawn somewhere.

Remember that all this secrecy, suppression and side-stepping is by a man who once upon a time praised the ‘free, dynamic, irreverent and independent media that we have and that is one of the glories of this country’. Yet seemingly, in this new glorious age of our country, a captive, static, soppy, biased media is more what’s required. Even the sacred Beeb is not safe from Boris’ iron fist. That lefty, remoaning, good-for-nothing, bastion of British media is no longer looking so bastion-like.

Now that we’ve ‘got Brexit done’, as the commemorative tea towels tell us, what does Boris have to talk about

I suppose it all makes sense now more than ever. Now that we’ve ‘got Brexit done’, as the commemorative tea towels tell us, what does Boris have to talk about. I guess he can blather on about ‘levelling up’ this and that, but that only takes you so far. What we don’t want is for Boris to have to discuss policy on a less abstract level. Getting into the details of the masterplan will only make people’s heads spin. Better to avoid that danger and keep the particulars at arm’s length. So, maybe all this blue pencil action is really being done for us. Big Boris is just watching over us. ‘Brexit is peace, EU is slavery, Ignorance is strength’.

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