Another year, another valentine’s day and another round of buying uninspired, clichéd, stupidly expensive, yet still incomprehensibly cheap looking, flowers and chocolates for your so-called “Valentine”. But really, who needs chocolates or flowers? Chocolates are eaten in a moment and flowers, no matter how beautiful, soon wilt away. Video games on the other hand can last for weeks, giving you plenty of valuable time to spend really getting to know your Valentine. So perhaps for next year’s valentines day, walk straight past the florists and the confectionery shops, and instead pick up one of these romantic pastimes.
Portal 2 is really the perfect game to play with your valentine. Team work, trust and communication are essential to completing the co-op campaign. You will be able to feel the bonds of your relationship strengthening beneath your very fingertips. Alternatively of course, it could cause a massive argument over the placement of a now ironically named ‘companion cube’ or because one partner always takes the ‘drop the other robot in the sludge to their death’ game too far. Either way, you’ll discover things about yourselves that you never knew before, making your next valentine’s day at the very least productive.
If you can attain even a tenth of this love towards you partner, you will truly have something special.
Gears of War Series except Judgment. Because Judgment sucks
Gears of War is a game about love. Now you may be thinking that I’m crazy, but it really is. It’s a game about a bromance, a love between big burly men. The bond between Marcus Fenix and Dominic Santiago is stronger than any you will likely ever experience and something to aspire to in your own relationship. If you can attain even a tenth of this love towards you partner, you will truly have something special. So next valentines why don’t you and your partner bond over steel chainsaws tearing through some monsters’ flesh? An image really quite beautiful, in a twisted sort of way.
For something a little newer for next year’s festivities, 1-2 switch is a less… ‘murdery’ option than the previous two on this list. Next year, 1-2 Switch will be the greatest game to play with your Valentine. For most of the mini-games, you have to stare into the eyes of your partner, allowing you to look deeply into their soul, and decide if they truly are the right person for you. Also, one of the games involves the two of you milking a cow… a skill some find quite important in relationships. So at the very least there’s that.
Whilst not strictly a co-op game, Mass Effect is still perfect for you and your paramour/ rogue to spend next valentine’s day. Over the course of three games the two of you are forced to make important decisions, prepping you for your future life together… or at least for the rest of the relationship. Most importantly however, it will get you in the mood for love. Watching the many liaisons of Commander Shepard with a variety of different species in a number of different settings feels so wrong and yet so right.
One partner always takes the ‘drop the other robot in the sludge to their death’ game too far
Resident Evil 6 (valentines day not going to well?)
Because, much like a relationship, you will start it with such high hopes, be met with various trials and tribulations, find yourself questioning the point of the whole thing and finally experience an ending filled with crushing disappointment.
Or maybe you could just buy some chocolates and flowers next year. No one ever argued over chocolates and flowers.