IWW Coverage – “Disability isn’t easy to talk about”

It’s hard to think of yourself as a game changer, but when I look back over my almost-three years at Warwick, I’ve had some incredible experiences and done things that I never thought I would.

As a disabled woman, it often feels like there’s a lot to prove, and also a lot of pressure to make a change. I haven’t engaged in any big campaigns or changed the world, but I have tried to push myself into speaking honestly about disability and what it means to be a disabled woman, whether that’s simply with my friends, or in more formal settings.

I have been lucky enough to speak at two Disability Question Times, and several Warwick Labour discussions on the topic. Recently, I have tried to broach the subject in seminars.

As a disabled woman, it often feels like there’s a lot to prove, and also a lot of pressure to make a change

Disability isn’t easy to talk about; often I can still feel my heart pound as I start to speak. But people are remarkably willing to listen, and this has slowly fuelled my confidence. Because disability is somehow excruciatingly awkward, it often takes people a while to ask what they want to ask, but I normally have a pretty good idea, so I try to put them at ease.

In this as in all things, humour is key. My friends will tell you that I am the first person to find my disability amusing at times; you have to laugh when you’ve jumped out of your skin at someone saying hello because of a ridiculously overactive startle reflex.

Disability is somehow excruciatingly awkward

It is this attitude that I have brought to my discussions about disability, and I have been lucky enough to see people’s views and understanding change in front of my eyes.

More than that, I have found my own confidence. This has opened up so many doors of opportunity, not least forming friendships I may never have made if I hadn’t struck up conversation. But this new confidence proved particularly helpful when I found myself working at the Guardian last summer, having won their Student Columnist of the Year award in 2014.

I was able to chat and have discussions with editors and writers, and even contribute in meetings, something I would never have done before going to Warwick.

I have found my own confidence

As a disabled, female writer, I often face a conundrum. Should I be a voice for these communities, who so desperately need to be heard (especially at the intersection)? Or do I risk being pigeonholed, when I also want to write about all kinds of political and social issues? It’s a question I know afflicts writers from all sorts of backgrounds.

Yet I am beginning to see that I can do both, as long as I remember one crucial thing: not to write stories about disability issues or women’s issues because I am disabled or a woman, but because I really care.

Not to write stories about disability issues or women’s issues because I am disabled or a woman, but because I really care.

This helps me to be me, not a set of characteristics. And in writing about all of the things I am passionate about, from international politics to disability, I hope I am showing that disabled women are multifaceted and interesting, just like the rest of humanity.

I hope I am doing the same in being honest with the people around me about what disability means for me. In that quiet, non-wave-making way, I hope to be a bit of a game changer, or at least make someone laugh.