Agony Aunt: Dealing with a difficult flatmate

Have a flatmate you don’t get along with? Here’ Agony Aunt’s advice...

Dear Liv,

I need help. My flatmate treats me really badly. I liked her last year, so made an effort to be constantly friendly, nice and helpful towards her. It was literally like I was invisible unless she needed something. Enough was enough, so I started ignoring her and suddenly I became visible again. But now we seem to have just stopped talking. I’m not sure what’s best to do – do I try to keep the friendship going?

Jaded Josh

H i Josh,

Thank you for contacting me, and I’m sorry to hear that! By the sounds of things you are a nice guy, it would seem that friendly, nice and helpful people are few and far between these days! So the best advice I can give you is stop the friendship now, whilst you’re both not talking, and try and move on from it. You don’t need friends who are going to be all take, especially if you’d like it to turn into more than friends. A girlfriend that is all take would become hard work very quickly! Having said that, I know it’s probably not that easy. I mean, you wouldn’t have written into me if it wasn’t bothering you. So if you feel you need this girl in your life, ask to speak to her and sit down and have a chat – preferably face to face,so you can watch her responses and decide if she means what she is saying. Explain that you value her friendship, but would like it to be a two-way street. Although, by the way you’ve described her, I personally don’t see anything changing any time soon. Keep friends in your life who treat you well and value your friendships, life is too short.

Good luck, Josh!

Liv x

(o.j.gillard@warwick.

ac.uk).

More advice from Liv:

 https://theboar.org/2016/01/agony-aunt-livs-lifestyle-advice/