Image: Darren Price/Flickr

My reading week adventure

If there’s one thing that the cast of Geordie Shore have successfully managed, it’s publicising the Newcastle nightlife.
As a uni student, one can only hope of having such a good night out that you are towed into the taxi Holly Hagan-style, with ladders running down your tights and makeup streaming down your face. At the time, of course, it’s humiliating, but in hindsight, it always leads to a great story and an even better Facebook newsfeed.

The opportunity to have such a messy time came knocking when our friend from Newcastle, Katie, mentioned that during reading week, our three favourite RuPaul’s Drag Race alumni were performing at the Boulevard in Newcastle. My housemate Ollie and I, both drag queen lovers, and even bigger sambuca lovers, were ready to use this as an excuse to waste our reading week getting drunk and disorderly.

The crowd was buzzing, the shots were flowing, and before we knew it, there were Beyonce medleys and twerking competitions…

After a 6am wakeup call, the coldest U2 journey known to man, and an 8 hour coach, Ollie and I arrived in Newcastle on a cold November afternoon, exhausted and exhilarated.

After dumping our bags in Ricky Road (the accommodation that was to be our haven for the next two nights), we got ready and got to the Boulevard. The crowd was buzzing, the shots were flowing, and before we knew it, there were Beyonce medleys and twerking competitions.

Already this night was unlike any I’d seen in Leam, and even though it wasn’t quite how I’d pictured it, I was still having the best reading week, dancing next to a drag queen called Edward Scissorhands, ignoring my dissertation woes.

It wasn’t going to be a night out in Newcastle without bumping into a celeb, and the gods answered our prayers with the X Factor alumni Joe McElderry.

We heard a few people call out his name outside Powerhouse, and I literally bumped into him. As I turned to apologise, he glared at us, gave all his ‘fans’ the finger, and stropped off. Once a diva, always a diva. The cloakroom attendant later confirmed that yes, we weren’t imagining it, he did look worse than on his tv days, and yes, he’s always that much of a jackass to most people.

Three trebles for £5 and an actual cage is an easy recipe for a messy night…

After dancing with a 60 year old in Powerhouse for a few hours, while a guy on stage made sparks on his crotch with heavy machinery, we bought some poppers (that we were never to find again), and went back to Ricky, happy with our bizarre and flamboyant night.

However, even though we had a great time, we didn’t have the Newcastle experience that Holly and Charlotte had promised us, so on our second and final night out, we head out, ready to make memories that we were ready to forget the next morning.

After a day out in the town, shopping and frolicking, we went out on what one could only call a club crawl. We first headed to Sinners, the deadliest place known to man. Three trebles for £5 and an actual cage is an easy recipe for a messy night. Admittedly, after that my memory is foggy.

After our incredible two nights in Newcastle, one flamboyant and the other just downright messy, Ollie and I got back on the eight hour coach, incredibly hungover, with some memories, many club stamps on our wrists, and piercings that to this day, my mother still doesn’t know about.

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Comments (3)

  • Jukua Salstrik

    What utter tosh..don’t believe a word..there is not anyone less of a diva than young Joe McElderry. He’s a well grounded well mannered young man.
    Think you should try for election as an MP.. Your so full if bullshit!

  • Rubbish Mr Risible.
    Joe McElderry is currently starring in Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat. He’s appeared recently in Crawley, Blackpool and Weston-Super-Mare. Hasn’t been home for weeks.
    What a way to go. … you should apply for a journo job at the Daily Fail. They’d appreciate your creativity. 🙂

  • The Exiled Scouser

    Clearly your ‘Reading Week Adventure’ is a work of fiction – evidently your uni education is paving the way for a career with “Mills & Boon” – you should do well – you couldn’t be further from the truth with your appraisal of Joe McElderry – though he would see the funny side of this whereas sadly I do not. Perhaps you need to take more water with your spirits next time or stay at home and brush up on your writing skills

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