‘I Heart Consent’: Why training is important

[dropcap]C[/dropcap]onsent: it’s a word that is thrown around a lot nowadays, but one that few genuinely understand. That’s why the NUS set up the ‘I Heart Consent’ campaign last year, to educate students at university as to how important this term ‘consent’ truly is; past the concept of ‘no means no’.
The campaign runs inclusive and positive discussions about sex and sexual relations, led by fellow students: something most of us have lacked so far in our sexual education.
This year at Warwick, these consent training sessions are being run during Fresher’s Fortnight for the very first time, taking inspiration from the hugely successful Oxbridge workshops and using the NUS model.

77% of men agreed that continuing to sexually engage with a person who has explicitly said ‘no’ constitutes rape

Most people rule out such consent training almost immediately. ‘I already know how it works’, or the more crude ‘I’ve never heard any complaints’, are some of the most common excuses bandied about to say that consent training isn’t applicable to you yourself.
It also shows how much people are missing the point and basing their knowledge on a ‘no means no’ definition. It is surprising how few people truly know what consent is.
According to a poll reported by the Guardian, only 77% of men agreed that continuing to sexually engage with a person who has explicitly said ‘no’ constitutes rape.
That means 23% of those questioned for this poll would believe that saying ‘no’ to sex would still count as a strange form of consent in their eyes; that the other person involved would still want sex, or any other sexual act, really. This just fulfils many of the rape myths that people are secretly ‘asking for it’, even when they say ‘no’.

To paraphrase our women’s officer Josie Throup, if you’re not willing to ask whether your partner is comfortable, happy and enjoying themselves then you may want to ask yourself why that is.

The idea that even the most fundamental and basic definition of consent has yet to be accepted fully shows how much these workshops are needed.
Consent, to put it simply, is on a strictly ‘yes means yes’ basis. Consent is a positive, mutually had discussion before anything occurs between two or more people.
It’s a way to ensure that everyone involved is happy and having fun; because, surely, that is why we have sex in the first place? To paraphrase our women’s officer Josie Throup, if you’re not willing to ask whether your partner is comfortable, happy and enjoying themselves then you may want to ask yourself why that is.
Rather than promoting ‘no means no’, we believe the focus should be one of positivity. This leaves no room for error when it comes to consensual sexual relationships.
You can not consent to sex without having to say ‘no’, especially as many victims of rape and sexual assault are perhaps not able to say ‘no’: they could be unconscious, or mentally unaware of what was happening to them.
So by highlighting the need for a ‘yes’, you are leaving no stone unturned and no room for manoeuvre. Either the other person has consented, or they have not. There is no doubt then that all parties involved are consenting to what is happening: and this is the best, and only, way to enjoy a happy, healthy sexual life.
There is no question that rape and sexual assault are genuine issues both in university, and outside it.
But by educating yourself on the issues surrounding consent, you could help yourself and your friends realise how important this ‘yes means yes’ outlook is.
Consent workshops are not about restricting experiences, but instead improving everyone’s relationship with sex. It is a positive outlook with positive outcomes and we hope you can join us for a session soon.