Let’s get kinky…

Reece Goodall discusses feet and fetishism…

Earlier this week, I stumbled upon an interesting article entitled ‘the 10 most unerotic concepts in porn,’ which dealt with some incredibly specific sexual fetishes, mostly as an excuse to laugh at people who find Bigfoot, Nazis and murderous penises sexy (admittedly, I chuckled at a few). However, as if it were a sign, I then watched an episode of American Dad! in which Francine discovered a fetish for spanking which caused her husband Stan to disown her as a sexual deviant. He then went on to discover his own kink, and realised that they are in fact a completely natural thing.

But this led me onto a train of thought – if sexual fetishes are a natural thing, why do we as a society frown upon them so much? Why do we, like Stan, assume that anyone indulging in sexual fetishism or anything kinky is a deviant?

What is a fetish? It is defined as sexual excitement in response to an object, body part or scenario that is not typically sexual, take feet, for example, although people are able to fetishize anything. A kink is more general, it is an unconventional sexual practice or concept. Where fetishes and kinks come from has been studied for many years – it has been suggested that the body started to evolve the foot fetish to protect itself in times of mass STD outbreak. Similarly, some people’s desire for group sex is supposedly based on the biological desire to spread their seed and reproduce as much as possible.

indeed, some people are turned on by danger…

As fetishes and kinks are an entirely natural phenomenon, why is there such a problem? A number of reasons leap to mind, the most obvious of which is that kinks seem strange to anyone outside of them. To a ‘normal’ person, the idea of a kink is an inherently strange thing – the need to mix something unusual into a ‘normal’ relationship is confusing. There is a lack of understanding surrounding kinks, even from people who have them. It is beyond the realms of most people to understand how, for example, being urinated on or being treated like a baby is sexually exciting, so it is judged as freakish, something to be condemned as taboo.

Some fetishes are, indisputably, dangerous – indeed, some people are turned on by danger. Whereas a conventional sexual relation should be fairly safe (one would hope), adding in a kink could add in an element of actual danger, especially with kinks that involve violence, such as choking.

It is also necessary to note that some kinks involve attraction to children, animals or the dead – obviously, indulging in them is crossing a line, taking advantage of someone or something helpless for sexual gratification, and this behaviour is rightfully condemned. Looking at feet and being turned on is something, but this is a step too far.

If a kink makes someone happy and is essentially harmless, what right does anyone have to tell the person that they are wrong in enjoying it?

The generally suggested system is one that, between two consenting adults, whatever they choose to do should be fine, and I agree with this. The adult industry has always been popular, and this is in no small part due to people indulging their fetishes – after all, why sell whips and such if no-one wanted them? If a kink makes someone happy and is essentially harmless, what right does anyone have to tell the person that they are wrong in enjoying it? Sure, we may not understand the allure of a foot to a fetishist, but to tell someone who does that they are incorrect and a sexual deviant is to enforce an atmosphere of shame – it is akin to picking on someone for their sexuality.

Really, we live in a more enlightened time, and it’s time we helped people embrace who they are and what they like – people need to recognise that kinks are part of them and not something to be ashamed of.