An ode to the regrets and mishaps of freshers’ fortnight past

[dropcap]H[/dropcap]ere are a selection of returners embarrassing stories from Freshers’ Fortnight. You would do well to avoid/top these mishaps…

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I pretty much ticked all the ‘do not do’ boxes – I slept with someone on the floor above for all of Freshers’, which led to a pretty awkward remainder of the year. I also got so drunk before the first Pop! I passed out on the way and had to be carried back.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I returned from my first uni lectures to find a cleaning lady with a high-powered vacuum suctioning the remaining water out of my accidentally-flooded room.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I insisted I watched Doctor Who before I went out on our first night of Freshers’. I continue to get my priorities right today…”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I’m sure I had a Freshers’ Party… Problem is I don’t seem to remember it”.

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]Don’t sleep with your flatmate… Just don’t.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]Ever had a drunken ride home in a trolley? I have, it was surprisingly comfortable.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I had a person over to ‘watch a film’ and my over-zealous flatmates decided to decorate my door with sexually-explicit post-it notes singing Taylor Swift for good measure.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I was in the SU and this largely built guy with dreadlocks said, in a strong brummie accent, “You look like a vampire…Vampires are sexy.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]In the middle of the night I sneaked across in nothing but my pants to the loo because I thought no one would see me. How wrong I was! Down the corridor were a group who had just come back from a night out and they were so drunk they bypassed the horrendous social awkwardness and just came over to say hi. I nearly died.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I got lost on my way to Tesco and ended up in a random science park with all my shopping.”

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[dropcap]“[/dropcap]I tried to sleep in the stairwell and was carried back to bed by my new flatmates.”

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Photo: flickr/rebelcan