Lessons Warwick can learn from video games

They rage quietly, just above the surface of the lake. They see you in the distance, in your fragile dorms. They see you for the spherical, green swine you are. Ready to launch at a moment’s notice to avenge their eggs and in anticipation of a sweet three star rating… alright, maybe I’ve over-laboured this metaphor, but these birds are angry.

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Utterly unafraid of humans, the birds inhabiting campus are ferocious beasts. Quite frankly, it makes attacking the cuckoos in nearly all Zelda games seem tame. They rule the land around the lake with an iron wing, allowing only the worthy (or those carrying delicious offerings of bread) to pass through their domain.

Let’s just be thankful there’s no apocalyptic mighty eagle lurking on campus… and they haven’t got their hands on Star Wars licensing: they’re aggressive enough without lightsabers and blasters.

Tocil Wood: a beautiful part of our campus. Strolling through the gnarled trees, breathing in the sweet woodland odours and drinking in the crunch of leaves beneath your feet, you could be forgiven for thinking you’d wandered into the Lost Woods or even Mirkwood on some misty evenings, particularly when the bluebells are in bloom. But one game makes me shudder to even consider stepping into the trees at night: Slenderman.

That emotionless blank face advancing slowly, silently, invisibly towards you amidst the innocuous vegetation is enough to send the hardest heart racing. I’m surprised no-one’s thought to don a white morph suit and business wear to terrify the few that invariably wander through at night. It’d certainly give someone a memorable Hallowe’en.

Now for a little more seriousness: you see that little sign in the corner of the screen? You know the one; it says ‘skip cut scene’ in an innocent font just outside of the action that’s happening on screen. It’s everywhere, universal, on all consoles. Whether you press start, Esc, Y or square, it’s so tempting isn’t it? To pass all the chaff and leap straight into the game. But here’s my advice, do not press it.

In spite of being somewhat vanilla when compared to the gameplay, the game would be nothing without them. The cut scenes are what carry the context, the plot, the characters, everything. From the sweet, sweet victory clip of a well-scored goal in FIFA, to the crashing intonation of “You Died” on the ‘Game Over’ screen in Resident Evil.

From that hard-earned secret ending in so many games to the first time Pokemon chimed its 8-bit theme song to your infant mind. They’re what give games flavour, character and charisma. Savour each one: honestly, you never when life’s going to throw a Blue Shell at you.

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