Run Intern, Run!

If you’re lucky enough to get a job on a film set, you have to know your place – the bottom of the barrel – and take any shit that’s thrown at you with a smile.
You’ll be given the worst of the worst jobs and you can’t really say no to any of them. The majority of low budget film sets aren’t particularly glamorous or exciting. People are generally running about with no idea what’s going on. So here is my survival guide:
Be nice to everyone. All the time. Even if they’re complete arseholes, which highly likely on a film set.
Girls: flirt. Outrageously. It is highly likely that you’re going to be one of the only females on set so use it to your advantage. Having a vagina apparently absolves you from heavy lifting, but don’t let that stop you from offering; it’s all the more impressive when a girl can carry a plank of wood.
Boys: just charm the pants off everyone.
Expect to do A LOT of standing around and doing nothing.
Pretend that what you’re doing is of the utmost importance (this is particularly important when standing around doing nothing; you must give the impression that it is crucial that you stand in this exact spot, in the middle of everyone’s way).
Do what you’re told. And when you’re not doing anything, offer your services around. Failing that, refer to the above.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help; far better that you ask and do it right, than flounder on your own and ruin the entire shoot.
Try to acquaint yourself with everyone, and find out what their role is. Make sure you know who your immediate superior is because they will save your life.
Get an iPhone. Apparently the entire media world runs off Apple products and you don’t want to stand out. It’s also extremely helpful for navigating around London (it is very easy to get lost in Hoxton while desperately looking for the prop supplier).
TEA. Become practised in the art of making really bad hot drinks, then people will stop asking you for them.
Eat all the free food – it’s probably all the payment you’ll be getting.
If someone vaguely famous turns up, try not to attempt to lick their face. Natalie Portman really won’t appreciate it.
Pretend you’re cooler than you actually are. Being able to recite the entire Black Gate speech from LOTR comes in handy when you’re trying to weasel your way in with the film nerds.
And for some real advice, Google is brilliant. Research beforehand is a must, and there are plenty of blogs out there from people with some real experience.