Fear not: there is life after Warwick

“If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” E.B. White

Upon leaving Warwick I was a 22 year old with four years of studying physics behind me. I had enjoyed two joyous years of debauchery with Warwick Surf, was a veteran employee and patron of Kelsey’s in Leamington, and my well- developed skill for oversleeping had never been better.
Almost two years later, I work for an information exploitation consultancy in London. I have invested in a better alarm clock which sometimes manages to wake me up on time. I have spent 18 months working as a ‘young professional’ getting to know London (it’s a bit bigger than Wigan), and have saved a total of £0.

The driven, high-achieving world that I had imagined I would inhabit post-graduation has a much lower population than I originally thought. In my experience, most graduates are riddled with uncertainty; even those who really enjoy what they do. I now see to be true what I always quietly suspected – any thinking person always has at least a faint background hum of doubt in their mind. I find this tremendously reassuring.

The lucky few that have decided what they want to do will chase their dream, but the rest of us (normals) get our first job out of university in order to tread financial water. Does it pay for rent, bills, transport, food and going out? Cool, I’ll take it.

The trap I fell into in final year was imagining that I was selling my soul into one profession for the remainder of my days.

Usually around 3am in the grid, I would imagine listening to a 40-year-old me talk about what I did at work. This internal monologue bored me to death and I could talk myself in and out of a career path in an energy-drink fuelled haze in seconds, dismissing it as preposterous that I would even consider doing something as tedious as that. What am I THINKING?
If only onlookers knew that the innocuous, tired-looking guy wearing headphones and staring gormlessly into the middle-distance was actually engaged in very serious hypothetical discussions about his career path with his future self.

My analytical physics-guy side and my laid back demeanour still meet in fierce battle when it comes to the tiresome question of ‘What should I do with my life?’ The brilliant quote from E.B. White above sums up the philosophical dilemma with clarity.

There is no rule book and no right answer. There exists an entire continuum of possible world views upon which these two outlooks lie. And what’s more, a person may not exist at only one point on this continuum all the time. I rarely manage to remain at one point for more than a few hours before changing my mind.

In the end I accepted the one job offer I had and moved to London.

How’s it been? It’s been OK. Up and down. What are the chances that a person’s first job after university will be perfect? Unless you’ve got some phenomenally impressive mathematics to show me, it’s fair to say that they are pretty slim. This is liberating to realise. For me, some things are great and others really aren’t yet, which is fine – what was I expecting?!
I’d like to claim that I make life improvements Kaizen-style and that I make clever, well-executed changes as required, but that would be lying. What really happens is I go to work, spend too much on lunch, see friends, feel constant guilt because I never go to the gym, keep up with my interests, try to keep up with Warwick Surf, fit in the occasional visit to Kelsey’s and sometimes travel.

I recently had my first piece of science journalism published which was nice, but on the flip side I ordered some plastic storage boxes the other day and they’re smaller than I was hoping. It’s swings and roundabouts. Things aren’t perfect, but on balance they’re pretty good for now. Freedom lies in knowing that I am able to make changes as and when I decide to.
I’m realistic about the opportunities that are out there and have a better idea of things that I want to do. It’s a slow process deciding what to do next, but I’m looking forward to my future plans.*

*Subject to change