Man up and get in touch with your feelings

A recent tweet by obscure but prolific Youtube rant-artist, the self proclaimed ‘Amazing Atheist’, received such a vehement reaction from Twitter’s feminist contingent that he issued a video response controversially entitled ‘Failure of Feminism’. The Tweet behind it all? ‘Feminism is the idea that we can make both sexes equal by focusing solely on the issues of one of them.’

Now, I’m no hardcore feminist looking to abolish men and grow babies in jars, but on watching this I found myself having a reaction Germaine Greer would be proud of. ‘How dare he suggest that feminism fails to represent men? It’s called feminism for a reason’, I thought. The words ‘self centred’ and ‘ignorant’ sprung to mind, but then it occurred to me; was I being self centred and ignorant? Why should feminism be immune to this criticism? Is there something in a re-evaluation of the representations of men and women’s problems? In short, is it still a ‘man’s world’?

Musings about a ‘crisis in masculinity’ are nothing new, butthey probably prove truer now than ever. Like femininity for women, the demands of masculinity pressure men by dictating what it is (and what it’s not) okay to do to appease society. Hey boys, fancy a good cry? Forget it – if you want to be considered truly a man, (unless you’re crying over the physical pain of working out too hard in the gym and even then you’re on dodgy ground).

It doesn’t stop there though, as these days masculinity’s demands prove hard to satisfy. The breadwinning role is a pipe dream for many men. The current job market is more competitive than ever and the pressure to be top dog is arguably felt more by men than women, levied with criticisms of being unable to ‘provide’ for their families, particularly if they are unemployed while their female partner holds down a steady job. What’s more, the last decade has seen women consistently achieve higher grades at school, in universities and hold positions once never thought possible. These intellectual challenges pose problems for the concept of being a ‘true’ man; if no longer defined as just plain better than us women, what exactly are men?

This doesn’t sound much like a man’s world to me, but this is not to diminish so-called ‘women’s issues’. We all have a healthy knowledge of the enduring problems plaguing women. Try the ever present gender-pay gap persisting despite numerous legislation changes and the outnumbering of women by men in almost all professional and managerial environments. The distribution of household chores has seen a similar lack of revolution, with women continuing to undertake ‘the bulk of domestic chores’, according to a recent study by Social Focus on Men. The dual burden endures now worse than ever. Women remain under-represented, over tasked and invisible in our own society and globally.

These marginalisations are debilitating and not to be overlooked, but are constantly being challenged, however. Feminism has pushed invaluably towards gender equality and improved the position of many women, but it is still controversial to say that perhaps women take for granted what our gender expectations allow of us. We have the option to be a stay-at-home parent without society’s judgement, the emotional freedom to cry over The Time Traveller’s Wife and excuses to avoid putting the bins out. In seriousness, the ability to be expressive and take the role of the sole subjugated allows women a certain freedom not afforded to men. Many quietly suffer the ills of masculinity. The ‘Alpha male’ silently endures power, financial and anti-emotional pressures without discussion, for fear of not being ‘man enough’.

This is not to advocate sympathy for men over women – or sympathy at all, neither gender should be patronised like that. I argue feminists can concede that women are not the only victims of gender constraints and that this doesn’t have to be reductive of their mantra or aims.
There is no need to jump down the throat of any man who suggests that feminism is not the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. And hey, call me a traitor, but remember this; women still outlive men by between five and ten years on average, so maybe we could cut them a little slack.