Neutrality is for fascists!

Sir,

I wish to complain about the heinous nature of the Boar’s coverage of the Occupy Warwick protests. That the Boar is an institution dripping with reactionary conservatism was already apparent, but their failure to come out in favour of the Occupy martyrs only reinforces the popular opinion that our students’ newspaper is at best a propaganda organ for the Conservative Party and, at worst, a full on anti-revolutionary conspiracy.

Specifically, I want to complain about the Boar’s claim that the doors to Coventry House were briefly closed on the first day of the occupation. I acknowledge that this is totally true – but that is missing the point. The editorial staff at the Boar seem to forget that the aim of a newspaper is not to report facts, but to manipulate them in order to push a highly partisan, distorted view of reality. I suggest that they re-model their newspaper on the Soviet publication Pravda, or perhaps Britain’s own Morning Star.

As it stands, though, the paper more closely represents Hitler’s Der Stürmer or, worse, the Daily Mail. This is indicative of the abject failure of the Boar’s journalists to understand their role. That they have chosen to cater for most of the student population, instead of the noble tent-dwellers who occupy our grass with such grace, merely betrays the fact that not everybody at the paper is a communist. That, I’m afraid, is nothing short of a farce.

I sincerely hope that the powers that be at the Boar realise that by falling into the bourgeoise trap of believing in the necessity of facts, they are solely responsible for the failure of Warwick’s proletariat to achieve their aim of throwing off the oppressive yoke of the Vice Chancellor and his disgusting fees policy. I believe that Marx, Engels, and Gramsci would agree.

What is more, the Boar recently published an editorial suggesting that the so-called ‘Bacardi ban’ lacked legitimacy because nobody really votes for the student council. It is true that a minority smaller than your average atom actually bothers to elect the council each year, but once again this isn’t the point. A truly progressive society has no need for democracy; rather, we need an enlightened dictatorship of the student body.

It is my duty as a worthy comrade, therefore, to absolutely stand by the comments made by one David Reed on the Boar’s website suggesting that ‘this shitty little newspaper’ is ‘horrendously biased and crammed full of lies’. Indeed, as George Orwell said, during times of universal agreement, telling the truth becomes an anti-revolutionary act.

I therefore call for the entire editorial team to resign. This is for their own good. Otherwise, come the revolution, they could be hunted down and persecuted or, even worse, forced to live in a tent.

Salutations soon-to-be comrades,

Neil V. Ladimirn