7th Heaven: TV’s top fictional male characters

NOTE: This is a list of the top fictional male characters I wish were real in order for me to be able to date and/or socialise with. In no way do I expect you to agree with my views but thought I should shed light on the less recognised heartthrobs of the small screen.

7. Simon _Grandma’s House_:
Simon Amstell’s portrayal of himself in his own series perhaps doesn’t count as outright fiction but it’s safe to say he plays the most perfect version of himself. I’ve placed him on the list not as a love interest but as gay best friend potential. We both share similar tastes in men; both live in our own little worlds where we envision perfect conversations that never go to plan in reality; and he possesses the most touchable head of curly hair this side of the Atlantic. His impeccable taste in outerwear (his grey coat and scarf combination would compliment my sartorial choices perfectly) and his choice of vintage suitcase over ugly man-bag makes us a match made in heaven. Sadly, I expect that some of his personality traits would grate in real life.

6. Henry Grubstick _Ugly Betty_:
The Clark Kent of Mode, he definitely had the body of Superman hidden under his pullover. It might come as a shock to men and women if I say that his perfect abs were a bit of a turn off – I like ‘em lean and nerdy. Who could resist his sheepish manner and constant mumbling? Sadly he lived up to the nice guys finish last motto, getting a girl pregnant but being gentleman enough to stick with his psycho ex-girlfriend meant he had to finish with Betty. The intelligence, glasses and social ineptness made me weak at the knees and longing for a man to sweep me off my feet like he did in the earlier stages of his and Betty’s relationship.

5. Chuck Bass _Gossip Girl_:
Chuck Bass and Henry Grubstick on the same list? I know; I’m weird. Not usually one for a bad guy, Chuck had me at hello. Mischievous smile, pocket squares and the most seductive voice I’ve ever encountered. Perhaps if he had lacked style I might have strayed to Dan, the nice guy of the series, but give me a bright purple suit and ridiculous scarf and I’m on board. Yes, he messed Blair around and yes, he got on the wrong side of the law far too many times but he slowly revealed his romantic side. As long as I know that beneath the player is a man who quite likes the idea of a weekend in Paris eating macaroons in Ladurée and shopping at Chanel I think I can forgive him being a bit of a Casanova.

4. Sherlock Holmes _Sherlock_:
I may have a few American shows on my list but I cannot resist the charms of a well-spoken Brit. Curly hair comes in to play here again but this time it’s the brain beneath that attracts me. If I could just observe his magnificent mind solving a crime I think I’d need to have a lie down and cold shower. I am a sucker for immense intelligence and social ineptness and Sherlock has both in abundance. I’d even offer to keep his flat clean whilst he was out being a genius if it meant he’d be interested. He seems to be completely uninterested in women who swoon over him but I like a challenge and he’s worth it for that sexy look he gets when he has an epiphany.

3. Matt Smith’s Eleventh Doctor _Doctor Who_:
I’m not really one for science fiction but I took an interest when this edition of the doctor appeared and started scoffing fish fingers and custard. Although Tennant was adored by many fan girls the moment the camera panned out to reveal a tweed jacket, Chelsea boots and a quiff I knew he was going to be my favourite. Add a bow tie and braces in to the mix and my love of all things upper class and twenties wanted to run away and elope right there and then. Some may say he looks a little too hipster but, technically, he was around centuries before and he trumps them all with his blue police box regardless. My love of travelling means I’d adore being whisked away to some far away planet and his nonsensical moments make me woozy.

2. Dr Spencer Reid _Criminal Minds_:
Potentially an unknown character to many but I urge you to watch this psychoanalysis show if you love a bit of geek chic. My parents introduced me to the show knowing full well I would drool over Reid. At twenty-four he has three PHDs, can read a whole book in less time than it takes some to read a page, and he has absolutely no social skills. He manages to be adorable and sexy all at once and every time he says something intelligent I can’t help blush. His photographic memory would mean I’d never have to worry about my 3G dropping on my iphone in the middle of a car journey. I have dreamed about meeting a man this intelligent but I know he can only exist in fiction. His hair changes every series and they’ve obviously picked up on his appeal to the female audience so he has been given more screen time in later series and for that I am truly grateful.

1. Seth Cohen _The OC_:
I battled for a while with who would take the top spot and Reid came very close but he’s not quite the whole package. Despite being slightly socially awkward Seth eventually gains some social skills – but thankfully still stumbles over his words every now and again. His Penguin polo shirts look perfect on his slim figure and every time he made a nerdy comic joke I just wanted him to kiss me. He is the only boy I’d want to recreate the spider man kiss with and I’d definitely dress up as Wonder Woman for him like Summer did. I wish he’d declare his love for me on the coffee kiosk in school and I wish he’d named his boat after me. And how could anybody not love his toy horse Captain Oats and his adoration for Ryan? He is funny and sweet and he started my fascination for boys with curly hair. It probably helped he had an infinity pool and lived near the beach – he had a surfboard in his room but I never saw him surf. He is just my perfect nerdy man and I have found so many girls who agree with me, even those who prefer beefy macho men.