Acquah firing was elaborate April fool’s joke

Students’ Union sources have revealed that the recent no confidence vote against Communications Officer ‘Isaac Newton Acquah’ and his subsequent reinstatement upon appeal were an elaborate ploy to generate interest and participation in Union democracy. An official statement read: “There is no such person as Isaac Newton Acquah, and he was never fired from the SU.”

The statement explained: “It has long been observed that the majority of students at Warwick are not active in Union elections and referenda, and we wished to apply a novel approach to this problem. When the idea of creating a phony officer called ‘Isaac’ for a ‘simulated dismissal’ was proposed, we knew it would be ideal. As a popular and widely-known sabbatical officer, we hoped ‘Isaac’ could draw upon untapped energy for reform in the student body. By basing the ‘dismissal’ upon a somewhat technical infringement of the Union’s constitution, we hoped to draw attention to some long-standing procedural issues surrounding the Union’s regulatory structures. In all of these aims, ‘The Acquah Plan’ was an unqualified success.”

Acquah’s ‘supporters’ were jubilant at the news of his ‘reinstatement’. Third year student ‘Rajiv Shah’ who ‘represented’ Isaac during his ‘appeal’ proclaimed, “This is a tremendous moment for our ‘democracy’. ‘Justice’ has been ‘served’. You all got served, suckers.”

In addition to falsified Motion documents, the ploy was made credible by an elaborate Facebook profile, featuring thousands of pictures of an actor portraying ‘Isaac’ ,and holding fake conversations with other similarly fabricated accounts. In little more than 48 hours, a Facebook ‘Group’ supporting ‘Isaac’ was able to gain more than 2000 members, most of whom were in fact Warwick students. “Never underestimate the credulity of the student body at this uni. They will believe literally anything,” remarked the SU source.

However, some students were not impressed. One second year arts student (who wished to remain anonymous because of the sensitivity of the situation, and was absolutely not invented to fill space in this article) remarked, “Isaac seemed a decent enough chap to me. He kept himself to himself mostly; never the type to send a blatantly biased email from a Union account. But that’s always the way it is with these things, I suppose. It’s the ones you least expect…”

Other students criticised the SU for employing such a tactic at a time when it faces serious financial uncertainty, and when the organization is preparing to change its legal status to that of a charitable organization. Said another randomer, “I think they ought to focus on issues that matter to students, like the price of drinks in the Copper Rooms.” On this point, the SU was adamant “the Acquah prank was in no way a pointless distraction from serious issues and tough decisions facing this organisation. It was, however, a perfect illustration of the capabilities that make this Union such a valuable asset to its students. Gotcha bitches.”