How about we give a crap?

I am only aiming this at those apathetic morons who don’t give a toss about the way their lives are dictated and whose understanding of the vote extends little beyond reality shows; the sort of people who smugly choose fair trade coffee because it’s got a picture of laughing African children on the label, but are otherwise relaxed in their complicity with a corrupt system of which they have little knowledge, and of which they’d rather have little knowledge in fear of having to go through another Lenny Henry sketch.

With what authority then do you have then to attack Gordon Brown? “Oh God, I can’t wait to get rid of him!” “Why do we want a dour Scot representing Britain?” “I never voted for him!” I remind you that Gordon Brown, like any politician, is a man. But more than that, he’s a man that has bothered to dedicate his life to do his utmost to progress his ambition for a more socially just society. We’re perfectly entitled to scrutinise and criticise his methods. What on earth, for example, was he doing scrapping the lower tax bracket? But at least we should give him credit for taking on the worries of sixty million people; for getting off his arse and actually doing a thankless job.

Do you even know why you’re voting for the Conservative party at the next election? Is it because every election expert has said that they’re going to win? Or is it because the Sun is switching its allegiances? They had the audacity, not – this time – to manipulate information, but rather had the arrogance to believe that they can sway your vote and then tell you so in a front-page headline! What were you thinking exactly when Tsar Murdoch chose to waltz in and do that?

Were you thinking that good old Rupert could be trusted to make rational choices for you? Well how exactly? Can you pin down the precise material differences between the Labour and Conservative parties? There are very little. If either is elected, costs will be cut, taxes will be raised and blame will be shifted. But, oh no! You’ll simply choose to submit and do exactly what these bastards want you to do. They monopolise every piece of knowledge and every way there is to communicate it, so I might as well give up! This individual has launched his very own satellites for God’s sake! Had this been the sixties, James Bond would have thrown him into the piranha pool by now! And yet what do we do? Elect politicians that wine and dine him and give him all the high level access he needs to make his ‘News in Briefs’.

So what do I recommend you do? I don’t know exactly; it’s not my job to offer you yet another set of rules and besides, I am hideously under-qualified. Maybe in that way, I am not so different from the Saturday television reality show presenters after all.

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