The science of dating

Last week Ollie Longworth described Dr Sozou’s use of Game Theory to explain dating in men and women. This article suggests that women are out to actively prolong courtship just for the sake of it. Apparently courtship is a woman’s way of judging a man’s suitability as a mate, with ‘good’ males being willing to ‘pay the cost’ of a lengthy dating period. The assumption here is that a man who dates for longer is more likely to stick around to help care for any offspring.

But is a lengthy courtship necessarily indicative of a male’s willingness to raise children? What’s to stop a man from playing along with the dating game, and ditching the woman once she is pregnant? Surely this would be a more successful strategy, because then he could find another naive woman and do it all over again, without ‘wasting time’ rearing the baby?

Well perhaps not. A woman left struggling to bring up a child by herself may be much less successful than a woman who has a man to share the load. So a man who helps in child-rearing may be more successful in passing on his genes in the long run, simply because his children are more likely to survive. Assuming, of course, that the baby shares his genes.

But who’s to say that the woman may not be carrying some other man’s baby? Penton Voak et al (1999) showed that women are generally more to attracted men with feminine facial characteristics, but during ovulation they prefer masculine-looking faces. So a woman may choose a more feminine-looking man as a long-term partner, but a more masculine-looking man to be the father of her child! How is a man supposed to determine whether or not it’s worth committing his time and effort to a woman and her child? One answer is courtship. By increasing the length of courtship a man can more effectively determine whether or not a woman is promiscuous, or indeed already pregnant.

Ever heard of a man being ‘scared of commitment’? In fact it is in his own, and his genes’, best interest to hold off on commitment for as long as possible. A man should perhaps be wary of a woman who sleeps with him on the first date.

Women do not desire a long courtship. Courtship is costly for both parties. However, for a male who is willing to ‘stick around to help rear the children’, it is worth the cost of courtship to avoid rearing someone else’s child. Of course, for a male playing the ‘desert after mating’ game, it is not worth paying the cost of courtship.

The ideal situation would be for a woman to choose a ‘good’ man, i.e. one who will commit, after a short courtship. On the other hand, a ‘good’ man is not likely to commit until after a long courtship. This is how a woman can differentiate ‘good’ men from ‘bad’ men.

So yes, I have reached the same conclusion as Ollie; women should choose men who court for longer, as they are more likely to be ‘good’. I do not object to this proposal, however, I believe that women do not actively try to prolong courtship, they simply observe. In other words, the length of courtship is dictated by men and not by women.