By that headline, I refer to how it’s probably worth rolling your transfer this week. Set your best starting 11 and take a load off, although that doesn’t exactly elicit significant article engagement. If this column persisted only on readership, I’d no doubt be out of a job. Ahead of...
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Ominously setting the scene: the earth is on fire, and that’s not being written as a loaded political statement, but instead deployed as an empirical scientific fact. The reality that my previous statement needs to be said is troubling, a sign of climate change’s geopolitical standing. This year’s Australian summer...
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The headline says it all. GW27 was an absolute horror show for me, with all but three players netting above two points. It was impressively poor, and many managers are likely to be in the same boat or the opposite side of the coin. It was a week of flying...
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Today’s digitised world knows, and today’s digital world remembers. As our entire lives are mapped onto the online sphere, so is our politics, increasingly centred on the posts of various ideological and partisan leaders and the bureaucratic institutions they lead. The recent Mandelson saga brought this home for me, as...
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Entering the twilight period of the season, with just over ten gameweeks remaining, we need to talk about chip strategy. A lot of managers deployed their triple-captain in GW26 on an Arsenal asset, to, at best, a mediocre result. However, many have all chips remaining, which leaves the question: when...
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The inauguration of President Trump, the Russo-Ukrainian war, the conflict in Gaza, and immense British political turmoil highlight just how busy 2025 was geopolitically. The printing presses of the globe’s broadsheets must have been on fire; the sheer amount of pages required to address growing news-besity is unfathomable – and they’re not...
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Operation Venezuela is complete. Trump’s maximalist pursuit of Greenland remains in the works, while incursion in Iran looms (again). Not to omit his efforts as ‘peacemaker-in-chief’, wherein he supposedly stops a war every month or so, and his global trade war, Trump’s global gallivanting seems endless. Under his MAGA banner, he...
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It’s chaos in the FPL world, as managers brace for GW25 and the subsequent double GW26, wherein Arsenal and Wolves play twice. We’ll discuss it all in this article and try to add some order to the frantic disarray. It is essential that you own three Arsenal players for GW26,...
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If I’ve headlined this article after him, and he blanks against Fulham (H), I’ll eat my shoe (note: I won’t). Fernandes, since returning from injury in GW21, has set the world alight, hauling in his past three appearances against tough opposition. He and United teammate Mbuemo are this week’s most...
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Folks, you won’t believe it; I actually got a green arrow last week. Honestly, I wasn’t sure it was possible anymore. I’ve been so long without one. Thiaw, Gabriel, Enzo, and Raya ought to receive a Cianan’s Column guard of honour (am I allowed to bestow those?). However, as with...
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Today, The University of Warwick’s own PPE Society will be hosting the next event in their Speaker Series: a Q&A with Reform UK’s Councillor George Finch, the leader of Warwickshire County Council. The comments of the Instagram post announcing the event aptly demonstrate the controversy this has generated among the...
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Am I allowed to start this week’s column with a moan? Well, the good news for me is that this column has my name on it, so that’s a rhetorical question. GW21 was a fun one for me; Keane got sent off, Dorgu had a goal cleared off the line,...
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Ekitiké is owned, at the time of writing, by 32% of managers, and it’s challenging to know what to do with the Liverpool forward. Looking down the barrel of GW18, 19, and 20, he looked extremely promising, but his best score during those weeks was a 5-pointer against bottom-of-the-table Wolves,...
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