Silence without virtue: The loud consequence of quiet sufferings for young men

Men don’t talk about their mental health. This fact is as salient today as it was 60 years ago. With another November wrapping up, it is important to seriously consider exactly why.

There are just over 28,000 students at Warwick and around half of this population are men. These men are often inappropriately inundated with messaging to ‘remain strong and stable’ in the face of life’s challenges.

In writing this article, I spoke to a number of men at Warwick and beyond. While their stories are different, their patterns become clear. Men can’t talk. Don’t talk. Won’t talk about mental health. Mathis Wood, a fourth-year History and French student, provides a frame to the problem: “My parents will ask about my life, and I will tell them there is nothing to report.” I asked Wood why he thought that was, “We can’t cry because we’re men. I suppose it is only [in crisis]. Everything up to that point is sidelined.”

Though Mathis goes on to describe himself as happy and relaxed at Warwick, his words get to the heart of the issue. Young men may think they are alright and can handle their problems, right up to the point where they break, and it is too late. When we don’t talk, it leads to an outcome that no one wants – a vicious cycle of isolation, internal struggles, and in the worst cases, lives cut cruelly short.

According to the UK mental health charity Mind, by the start of 2024, there were 6,069 suicides recorded in a year-long window. Over 4,500 of these (75%) had been committed by men. Suicide rates were even more acute among younger men, with a total of 12% of younger men surveyed saying they had direct experience of depression or anxiety.

“I don’t think Warwick does that much, but it is important to talk about,” Wood said. After I pressed him on the subject, Mathis commented that he would like to see the  University do more. The places that men can reach out to for answers are not always obvious. However, more and more people are starting to take the epidemic of mental health problems for our generation seriously, particularly in men’s mental health spaces. “It is still not fully accepted; people don’t take it as seriously as other forms of health,” said George Marshall, another student in second-year.

Movember is more important than ever, with so many men struggling and many turning pain into forms of violence

– Nikhil Lal

That being said, George points to signs of improvement, “It is becoming more encouraged to speak about,” he reflected, recounting the effort made by universities, both Warwick and beyond, to work with charities and get men talking. At Warwick, the Raising And Giving (RAG) Charity team cite November as one of their busiest times of year, receiving sponsorship, donations, and spreading awareness about men’s mental health in partnership with the nationally acclaimed men’s health charity Movember.

“Movember is more important than ever, with so many men struggling, and many turning pain into forms of violence,” said Nikhil Lal, one of the charity executives at RAG. “At Warwick RAG, we are doing many different challenges and fundraisers to raise a huge sum for Movember. A few people will be getting buzz cuts soon, and we have many events throughout the final week!” Lal added.

Beyond this, organisations up and down the UK are turning up the volume on the conversation around getting men to talk about mental health; their efforts are preventing poor mental health from spiralling across Gen Z men. Alongside Movember, CALM, ANDYSMANCLUB, and the Mental Health Foundation devote enormous effort to support the mental health of Britain’s young people.

Elaine Roberts and Luke Ambler, founders of the rapidly expanding UK-wide Men’s Mental Health Organisation ANDYSMANCLUB, are the mother and brother-in-law of Andrew Roberts, a 23-year-old suicide victim. “I wanted to do something where I could personally help other men,” commented Ambler in an interview with Sky Sports. ANDYSMANCLUB’s 2016 initiative has since become a nationwide phenomenon, attracting attention from top artists, media personalities, sportsmen, and members of the Royal Family. The organisation’s success serves as a symbol of the power the mental health conversation can have.

Internalised stigmatisation around mental health conversations, driven by our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, was common among the men I spoke to

“I know for me it has been that men, particularly in my family, don’t really talk,” said Jabel Philpott, a graduate of Warwick (2025). Internalised stigmatisation around mental health conversations, driven by our parents’ and grandparents’ generations, was common among the men I spoke to. Many described a push from paternal figures to maintain a ‘stiff upper lip’ and to ‘get on’ in spite of mental anguish, rather than deal with it directly. “I suppose it is very dependent on your environment,” he added, reflecting that some men with different backgrounds and cultural experiences seem to find it easier to speak about their relationship with mental health.

With all this said, the question is, where do we go from here? As student-age men, we often deprioritise mental health in the face of all the other struggles that we face. It is easier to ignore and move on than face up to a difficult reality that talking to others about our emotions is both the right and the healthy thing to do. If we are really as strong as many of us boast, then why can’t we just do it? Speaking to men at Warwick and those taking the first step after university has made me realise one thing: we have to choose the narrative that we want to perpetuate.

If it is our own decision-making that puts us in a position where men in our generation are suffering in silence, only we can choose to break cycles of silence and find a way out. At the moment, both options are on the table. We can choose to maintain the status quo of not talking, or we can choose to have the courage to continue making the conversations around men’s mental health happen.

Making the hard part easy is the way forward.