Will’s Word On Warwick: Leading without reading – The ultimate seminar guide

We’ve all been there. Sat in a seminar, not having done the reading for reasons that were totally understandable and largely out of your control – now you’re left staring down the barrel of 50 inescapable minutes of awkward silence, desperate guesswork, and frantic evasion, coupled with the very real prospect of public humiliation and academic disgrace.

It’s far from ideal. However, there are ways to mitigate this troubling issue. So, join me as I take you through the only required reading you’ll ever need, helping you get the most out of seminars while giving the least.

The four horsemen of improvised seminar contributions are ChatGPT, blind guesswork, undue confidence, and the exploitation of your fellow students. Although broadly speaking, a seminar leader will be happy that someone is saying anything at all, to the point that what you’re actually vocalising is immediately of secondary importance.

Always be sure to contribute heavily to the non-reading aspects of the seminar, such as the general catch-up at the beginning. Then, take a generous step back when the reading gets brought up

I’ve had a colourful range of seminar leaders: one notable individual would let us play music to accompany our near-weekly presentations, which we immediately exploited. This saw us presenting PowerPoints on Paradise Lost to the soundtrack of everything from Dizzee Rascal’s magnum opus, ‘Bassline Junkie’, to Beethoven’s ‘Fifth Symphony’. Again, though, she was just happy we were getting involved.

Make sure to exploit those around you in the seminar. Many people will do all the reading, aggressively note-taking throughout, all so they can sit silently staring at their laptop for 50 minutes. This would be a terrible shame, so consider ‘magpieing’ their material for the benefit of the seminar, and, to a lesser extent, yourself.

Additionally, always be sure to contribute heavily to the non-reading aspects of the seminar, such as the general catch-up at the beginning. Then, take a generous step back when the reading gets brought up, to allow others an opportunity to get involved.

Perhaps consider practising the nuanced art of subtly typing the exact question the seminar leader is asking as they ask it into ChatGPT, to ensure you can deliver a range of helpfully bullet-pointed, insightful ideas decorated with em dashes – and hopefully featuring nothing made up – as swiftly as possible.

What is often quite a powerful tool in seminars is to say quite a few things, and yet, simultaneously nothing at all

Many students are often happy to think up the necessary insights but lack the desire to contribute. This is ideal and allows you to volunteer yourself as a potential mouthpiece, thereby enhancing your seminar in the process – any benefit to yourself is, of course, few and far between.

Confidence is key to seminar contribution, especially since it is unlikely that you’ll be challenged on anything you say, as a result of a general desire by most people to keep seminars broadly non-confrontational. So, go crazy, have a bit of fun with it, and perhaps consider exploring the extremes of idiocy just to see if anyone questions you on it.

One strategy which often falls flat, however, is the ‘I can’t really remember now because I read it last week’ tactic, which I find hugely lacking. Not only is it a blatant fabrication, but it also creates an awkward silence as everyone in the room quietly comes to terms with the fact that you’re clearly lying.

What is often quite a powerful tool in seminars is to say quite a few things, and yet, simultaneously, nothing at all. This is always a surefire way to avoid getting anything wrong. Another vital strategy to employ is piggybacking off someone else’s point. However ludicrous or inaccurate it may be, building off a previous contribution always looks to be a fruitful and constructive endeavour – whether it actually is either of those things is of little consequence.

I would like to conclude this article by officially noting, in case any seminar leaders are reading this, that I have never once applied any of these tricks myself

No one likes an awkward silence, so consider filling it with grunts, incoherent mumbling, or whatever point springs to mind, however nonsensical. You could also consider throwing in acronyms that have no meaning but basically sound like they could be a thing; this is a surefire way of sounding like you know what you’re talking about.

Interestingly, it is possible that actually doing the reading may make you look too eager in the eyes of your seminar leader, ultimately losing their respect and valuable seminar contribution marks in the process. This is a comforting thought and highlights the value of not putting your all into the degree you both pay for and purport an interest in.

I would like to conclude this article by officially noting, in case any seminar leaders are reading this, that I have never once applied any of these tricks myself and that the content of this article is entirely comprised of untested speculation.

While a couple of oceans may be drained to provide the required AI energy and a few shots in the dark might be missed, I would implore you to consider these strategies the next time you’re sitting in a seminar feeling totally unprepared. Whatever happens, at least you won’t be stuck enduring 50 minutes of painful silence.