Will’s Word On Warwick: A freshers’ guide to Circling

So, you’re a first year, and while you may be a tad confused, you’ve got all the pep, unearned confidence, and eagerness that naturally come with being a Fresher. And, having heard tales of our classic Warwick tradition and world-class approach to drinking games, you’re excited to give it a try.

However, you may feel a little lost as to what it is – and, scared to go in unprepared, you’re looking for guidance. Fortunately, you’ve come to the right place. In this guide, I will demystify Warwick’s iconic tradition of Circling, breaking down the essentials and offering many useful tricks along the way, with the ultimate aim of making ‘the Circle’ seem less intimidating for incoming students.

Remember, don’t be a nerd. Learning the rules is for bozos and people who do the required reading, so don’t engage with them even a little bit

A Circle is a lot like being in prison. It’s important you identify the biggest person there and symbolically fight them to establish dominance and mark your territory. So, work out who holds the most social capital, be it the social secs, president, or some nutter fourth-year who knows games the socials have never heard of, and immediately challenge them in some way. Whether it’s through an aggressive and preferably solo chant, throwing some friendly VKs, or some light pushing, like a proud lion, they will likely respect you for it and end up voting for you as the next Social Secretary within the year.

Remember, don’t be a nerd. Learning the rules is for bozos and people who do the required reading, so don’t engage with them even a little bit. Be confused. As master strategist and presumed avid Circler Sun Tsui probably said, “To confuse your enemy, you yourself must first be confused.” Hold these words in your heart every time you circle, and you will be fine.

If someone has been asked to do a shoe pint, sock pint, or baby bird pint, be sure to get involved and offer up your clothes or self to maximise joy, leaving a mark on both your circle and your outfit in the process.

If you’re not drinking at Circle, make sure not to splash out on overpriced squash. Instead, opt for waters and confidently say that they’re vodka pints, making sure to accept no follow-up questions

Moreover, if you feel the social secs are flagging at any point, feel free to get up and help them out. ‘Backseat social seccing’ is generally appreciated by savvy socials, and they may even reward you with a long-arm (this is a traditional Warwick custom, marking a profound exchange of respect and gratitude).

Chants should generally be kept solo, so if you feel anyone joining in, be sure to go quiet and give them a chance to shine. Consider starting obscure chants that are difficult to say or understand. This is an invaluable tool in any Circler’s wheelhouse.

If you’re not drinking at Circle, make sure not to splash out on overpriced squash. Instead, opt for waters and confidently say that they’re vodka pints, making sure to accept no follow-up questions.

Be sure to help those who are less in the know. This will strengthen your social credit and increase the odds of others assisting you

In what is potentially a game-changing move for everyone’s respective bank accounts, consider skipping the day’s meals before Circle. This will allow you more room and money for Purple, with little to no adverse side effects! And remember, mixing drinks means mixing fun, so always be sure to preload on as many different types, brands, and colours of drinks as you can.

Once you’ve come to terms with the so-called ‘rules’ of Circle, be sure to help those who are less in the know. This will strengthen your social credit and increase the odds of others assisting you. When employing this strategy, make sure to speak clearly and near the social secs; they’ll likely appreciate your commitment to educating those who don’t know better. As probable Circler, Tony Blair, once said, “Education, education, education,” presumably with reference to Circle. It is vital to keep these words in your heart and mind when circling – I mean, it worked for Blair, if you ignore Iraq, Afghanistan, and his overreliance on Private Finance Initiatives.

If you are having trouble communicating in Circle, worry not. The mobile phone is an ideal form of communication for any confident young Circler, either through the Notes app or straight-up phone calls.

I would recommend rocking up to the Pig and Fiddle pub in Leamington with some pints and a dream, or, better still, Assembly upstairs, where you’ll be treated to a welcoming, laid-back Circle

A quality venue can often make or break a good Circle, and it’s crucial that you don’t end up attending one of the seedier spots. Copper Rooms 1 and 2 are generally to be avoided, for obvious reasons. Instead, upstairs Kelsey’s and Assembly at Christmas time remain the clear top-tier places for any decent circle. If your intended Circle is not being held at these crème de la crème sites, Social Sciences, Butterworth Hall, and Senate House remain fantastic backup choices. If not, you may have to pray that the bright lights of Fusion are reopened, as it is a solid venue when open.

Moreover, if you know the Circle is going to be a big one and it’s being held in Fifteen or downstairs at Kesley’s, I would suggest you drop everything and get yourself there, praying all the while that you’ll be sharing the space with another quality Circle, as this electric, tight-knit atmosphere is something you won’t want to miss. If, for whatever reason, you are unable to find the right Circle and don’t want to break your exciting and necessary Circling streak, I would recommend rocking up to the Pig and Fiddle pub in Leamington with some pints and a dream, or, better still, Assembly upstairs, where you’ll be treated to a welcoming, laid-back Circle, perfect for those who aren’t big drinkers.

With this advice in mind, and a pocketful of confidence, I can assure you that your first few Circles will pass like a dream. Before long, you may even find yourself educating the next generation of freshers, just as Blair intended.