Lessons in everything life and Leam: you are what you love, so choose wisely

Who you surround yourself with is invariably a reflection of who you are as a person, so choose wisely! The people you live with, laugh with, fight with, and the people you choose to spend every spare moment of your time with, are, therefore, key in shaping the person you become. At this point in our lives, as young women, who we choose to surround ourselves with is of the utmost importance.

Our time at university is pivotal in shaping the person you will become. Not only will it shape the benign aspects – such as your taste in music, your go-to drink, the snack you crave in the afternoon after a long day at university, or your comfort show – but also the people around you will shape core components of who you are as a person. So, here are some of the key lessons I have learnt from the people I love at university.

Lesson number one: be giving
I think that people often interpret this in a very superficial way. Typically, in our materialistic society, we associate ‘giving people’ with those who are extremely generous with their financial resources, and while this is admirable, there is so much more to being giving than just that. I have (hopefully) learnt (or am learning) how to give my time. Nowadays, time is precious; everyone has a million things going on, so taking time out of your schedule to dedicate to others really reflects the type of person you are. Nothing demonstrates that you love someone more than taking the time to care, showing you are invested by giving up the most precious commodity of all – your time.

Surrounding yourself with people who are bright, breezy, and beaming instantly makes the world feel like a much better place and, in turn, shapes you into someone who has the same impact on others

Lesson two: celebrate everything and be there no matter what
The people you surround yourself with at university understand you in ways that others cannot fathom. They live with you and, as a result, are in tune with your emotions; they witness your highest highs and at your lowest lows. They are there to celebrate those highs and commiserate during the losses, ensuring you never feel alone, regardless of what you are going through. They have laughed at unfortunate drunken mishaps, wiped away tears, listened patiently to different perspectives on the same situations, read through essays, CVs, and job applications, and held your hand through all the trials and tribulations that life has thrown your way. My friends have taught me that there truly is a silver lining to everything if you search hard enough, and therefore, you are entitled – in fact, I would argue you should – celebrate anything and everything. Flowers after interviews, encouragement after a date, a bottle of wine after essay feedback – these moments shouldn’t depend on the outcome; simply doing them is reason enough to celebrate.

Lesson three: laugh about anything
‘If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.’ This is something we have heard all too often, but I have learnt over the past two years that nothing is off-limits to laugh about with people you truly love. University is daunting, the world is constantly knocking, and recently all the more persistently; real life is just around the corner, and therefore it’s not an abnormal reaction to feel thoroughly overwhelmed. So, if you can, why not laugh and take yourself a little bit less seriously? Surrounding yourself with people who are bright, breezy, and beaming instantly makes the world feel like a much better place and, in turn, shapes you into someone who has the same impact on others.

The young women I have surrounded myself with have made my life, in countless ways, immeasurably better

Lesson four: you can do anything you set your mind to
Finally, this lesson is a perfect amalgamation of the other three, a melting pot of everything brilliant they have taught me. Being surrounded by people who believe you are the best person ever could potentially make you insufferably over-confident and arrogant. However, I have found that my friends have flourished while being surrounded by others who have taught them not only to focus on their own success but also to be generous with their time and help others. My friends have celebrated every little step on their paths to success and have also been there to lighten situations and to share a giggle with when everything has felt slightly too much. This has given my friends an innate confidence that empowers them to tackle any challenge that comes their way. Characteristics of self-assuredness, calmness, and steadfast commitment mean they finish what they start with composure, no matter how difficult or lengthy it is.

The young women I have surrounded myself with have made my life, in countless ways, immeasurably better. They have had such a tangible impact on me that I will continue to feel the effects of their friendship long after I have left the confines of the University of Warwick. As we all continue to develop and mature, I think we should remember that, rightly or wrongly, people make judgements about us based on who we are friends with. So choose friends who are kind, passionate, giving, funny, empathetic, charitable, engaging, and curious. Choose friends who will inspire you to become the person you want to be. In other words, choose wisely.