Elsewhere at Warwick — Volume 47 Issue V

Articles in this section originally appeared in Volume 47, Issue V of The Boar, published Wednesday 5 March, 2025.

You’ll never beat the Irish

Dizzying victories, crushing defeats – Friday 5-a-sides for the Warwick Sport Intramural League have it all for students searching for the thrills of a football league slightly closer to campus. Or just anyone looking for something to do at the end of the week – Elsewhere wouldn’t judge. 

It has been, it’s fair to say, a punishing league for the boys at Warwick Irish. No other team, in fact, could boast double-digit margins of defeat on multiple occasions. Yet in the spirit of the beautiful game, this has changed at last, as the team claimed their first ever league win this month. This was swiftly followed by two more back-to-back victories, the third a 9-2 demolition of Triple Crown rivals, the Welsh. 

Off the back of these dizzying victories, gaffer Anna was limitlessly ambitious: “Champions League next. Watch out Warwick and watch out world.”

The Dirty Dictum

There are, by Elsewhere’s count, six Wetherspoon outlets in the immediate vicinity of Warwick – the Benjamin Satchwell, of course, alongside its lesser-known cousin the Thomas Lloyd in Warwick, and no less than four based in Coventry – the City Arms, the Flying Standard, the Earl of Mercia, and cinema-based Spon Gate. Now, adding to that roster is the hotly anticipated location of… Kenilworth. 

The Dictum of Kenilworth, as the new branch will apparently be known, is set to open on 30 July this year, on the site of a former Poundland. Exactly how much demand there was for a Spoons in a town that mostly serves as a half-hour diversion for 11 commuters is a secret best known to Tim Martin: all one student informed of the new opening could say was “I don’t go to Kenilworth”, while another inquired dully as to whether there was anything else in the town.

Election fever

The long-awaited arrival of spring has seen election fever sweep campus once again – alongside real fever, which has decimated seminar and lecture attendance across the University, and left study-sessions in the library sniffing more than a WBS alumnus in the City of London.

But for both student societies and the SU Spring Officer Elections, voting is now well-underway. With 53 candidates in the running for 14 different roles, the race for a year of responsibilities on a salary of under £30k has never been so competitive.

At least, that’s the case for nearly every position. Having seen perhaps the most dramatic race of any FTO role last year between Louis Gosling and Ben Tweedle, in a contest decided by less than a 100 votes, this year the position of Vice President for Sports is unopposed. Ollie Seal, the one candidate standing, had not even intended to win, running instead under the joke monicker ‘A. Bolish Sports’.

Thankfully for the SU’s pride, since being confronted by their certainty for the role, Seal has decided to make a genuine attempt at winning the position. Such efforts started with dropping the A. Bolish nickname: Elsewhere hopes the election of Seal won’t spell the end of leaks in the SU.