Lessons in life and Leam: bar crawl or kebab shop crawl?

This article marks a full-circle return to where we began — the kebab shops of Leamington Spa.

Like every worthwhile long-term relationship, we have crossed the path of no return with Sicilians. Highs and lows have been endured, and periods of immense fondness are juxtaposed with uncertainty. Sometimes, weeks have passed when we haven’t seen each other, but we always return to each other with steadfast devotion. Friends from home have been introduced to the joy of their curly fries. Some are even featured on the wall. Even family members have decided to dine at the institution.

This bar crawl, while an exciting night out in Leamington Spa, has been defined by (and will forever be remembered for) the sheer amount of kebab shop food consumed

So, this is why it was an immense surprise to us that we were growing restless and bored by the same ‘sameness’ of the kebab shop we pass by daily. This itch needed to be scratched. The night we did so was highly anticipated as we attended a 21^st birthday bar crawl. Like everything in life, the 21sts I have attended have come in every shape and size imaginable. Ranging from small, intimate affairs to full-blown, these events – no matter the size – have been meticulously planned and perfectly curated to match each birthday girl and this bar crawl was no exception.

This bar crawl, while an exciting night out in Leamington Spa, has been defined by (and will forever be remembered for) the sheer amount of kebab shop food consumed. Starting strong in South Leamington Spa, we stopped at Bowling Green, TJ’s, 15, and Old Lib, where VKs, jelly shots, and wine were consumed in abundance. All this drinking was hungry work, and our first kebab shop pit-stop occurred. A friend cited their irresistible craving for Craving’s mozzarella sticks as insurmountable. We stopped by Craving’s, and they did not disappoint, so we carried on, unperturbed.

However, we should have heeded this as a warning sign of the coming night. We managed to make it from South Leamington up to North Leamington with stops at a couple more establishments and to Moo. The journey was an achievement in itself. No stragglers, all bar ‘crawlers’ – no man or woman left behind. Yet, a break was soon needed from the club for chips. Chips were from none other than the fine establishment which usually serves Smack frequenters, Raj Fish and Kebab House. My friends and I can personally vouch for the quality of those chips, though how much anyone values this is questionable. Proper British fish and chip shop-style chips were just what we needed. After returning to Moo and putting in another solid shift, it was time to call it a night.

True love lasts a lifetime, so don’t throw it away trying something different

Here is where we diverged. Some loyalists returned to Sicilians, rewarded with warm, friendly faces when ordering pizza and curly fries. Some went rogue, returning to a previous love, Vialli’s. We would love to claim that the grass wasn’t greener and that our itch was not scratched, but we cannot, for that would be a lie. The kebab boxes were phenomenal, the cherry on top of the perfect kebab shop crawl. We discovered the culinary delight of salad boxes with garlic mayo. These are fast becoming a staple in our daily lives.

Yet while this bar crawl turned kebab-shop crawl showed us that there is more to Leamington Spa than what Sicilians has to offer, it would be misleading not to mention that we have since returned to Sicilians. We haven’t devoted our time, energy, and extensive monetary resources to cultivating a relationship with them not to bear the fruits of our efforts. So, the lesson to be learned: Every bar crawl should cater to snackers, given the wide variety of midnight snacks available. It would be foolish not to capitalise on these options. True love lasts a lifetime, so don’t throw it away trying something different.