Mindful Moments: your chosen family

You may not have found your partner for life or the future mother or father to your children. However, this is not a reason to be miserable or not celebrate a day of love, as you may have found their future auntie or uncle. The people who will stay and wipe away your tears when that boy was not who you thought he was. Those that walk to do your food shop with you so that you can chat that little bit longer. The friends that make you feel like you are back in primary school, laughing and dancing like children. Your chosen family. I have certainly found mine, and this is something to be celebrated, not taken for granted. Although a ‘Galentine’s/Bromance Day’ is an amazing way to share this love and appreciation, these friendships need to be nurtured and grown over time in many different ways. With this article, I hope to share a few ways that you can show love and gratitude for these people, not just today, but every day.

Once the root of a friendship has been formed, it is important to water and nourish the relationship so that it can grow

The little chats at 1am in the kitchen or the quiet gossip in the library when you should be studying. These moments may seem small and insignificant, but these are the moments where a friendship is built in a subtle way.  The important way to embrace these moments is to not stick to a rigid plan. Chatting in the kitchen may seem small and unnecessary when you have reading preparation scheduled, however, it is important to prioritise these little conversations as they build and grow into a friendship. So, although university can feel like the be-all and end-all, don’t let it take away the opportunity to meet and enjoy little (but important) chats with like-minded people.

Once the root of a friendship has been formed, it is important to water and nourish the relationship so that it can grow. This can be done in many ways: scheduling movie nights, organising a coffee date, or going on a small outing. Often, when housemates turn into best friends, it is easy to take for granted their company and just stay in all the time. It is crucial to not fall into a slump by only seeing your friends in the kitchen or bedroom. We have access to many fun places on campus, such as going for bubble tea at Jidong or playing pool in the Student Union. Going out on campus can help strike the perfect balance between the need to study and the need to maintain relationships while at university.

Be patient and look for the small opportunities to bond, as this can often be where the best friendships are formed

Every once in a while, an even bigger outing can help keep things interesting and fun. This can come in the form of a spontaneous day trip to a nearby city or town such as Birmingham or Stratford Upon Avon. Just a week ago, my best friend and I took an exciting trip to Oxford for the day, given it is just a 40-minute train journey from Coventry. Instead of studying in the library, we were able to study in a beautiful café near the University of Oxford. Even London is only an hour and a half on the train, with tickets being relatively affordable. A fun trip to Oxford, Cambridge, or London can be quick and easy, while still being a cool experience for you and your friends.

Even if you are scared that you have not found these people yet, do not worry. I had spent a whole year worrying that university would not be the place where I found my chosen family, just to realise that they had been right under my nose the whole time. Be patient and look for the small opportunities to bond, as this can often be where the best friendships are formed.

So, with Valentine’s being around the corner, do not despair if you have not found your soulmate. Instead, look for those twin flames, and spend time appreciating the people who have stuck with you through the good and bad. It is such a gift to share love with your chosen family.