A survival guide for the perpetually single

Valentine’s Day: the annual day to check out everybody’s relationships on Instagram whilst indulging in overpriced chocolates and avoiding too much PDA (public display of affection). Everywhere you turn, there’s a smitten couple holding hands and deep in love despite last night’s argument about who didn’t text who back. Meanwhile, those of us who are single and thriving are suddenly subject to eating last night’s leftovers alone and attempting to avoid the lack of texts from everyone else out enjoying the best night of their lives. The day can poke at the sore spots that are usually insignificant, like the fact your last ‘situationship’ has suddenly found himself ready for a relationship just after you, or that the only flowers bought for you were just another purchase on the overdraft.

Remember the love that you do have in your life and focus on these elements – your friends, families, and anyone who offers you the kindness

As such, Valentine’s Day is arguably one of the most contested holidays, prompting intense feelings in people over their love or hatred of it. It’s understandable when so much pressure is placed on the need for a partner to spend the day with. Whilst there are definitely other times of the year when loneliness can hit, Valentine’s Day can often seem particularly intense when others are sharing their love, and it might feel like you’re the only one without someone. Of course, we know that isn’t the case but focusing on everyone else who’s in a relationship on the day can amplify the feeling. Even for those of us in a healthy relationship, being long-distance or unable to sort out plans can often mean many of us are spending Valentine’s Day on our own. There are plenty of ways to embrace being single when you might seem to be the only one, and you can still make the most of Valentine’s Day and thrive whilst doing so.

Although it can be easy to feel resentful towards all the loved-up couples posting across social media sharing how happy they are, this mindset is only going to hurt you. Try to shift your thoughts to more positive ones. Look at wholesome couples’ posts with support and enjoyment, embrace the aspects of love they exhibit, and consider ways to reflect this on yourself. Remember the love that you do have in your life and focus on these elements – your friends, families, and anyone who offers you the kindness and happiness that might also be found in a partner. Recognise the acts of kindness and care that surround you and acknowledge the ways they enrich your life. These relationships are just as valuable as a romantic partnership and deserve to be cherished.

By giving yourself that love, you’re boosting your confidence, making yourself feel seen, and making the holiday appear just a bit less lonely

Valentine’s Day isn’t just a day for sharing your love of partners but also a day to show yourself that love too. Take the time to look at yourself and offer yourself the kindness, patience, and love that you would want to give anybody else on Valentine’s Day. Whether you love going out for nice meals, eating a takeaway in bed, watching your favourite movie, or going on a solo date to your local bookshop, remember that this is an opportunity to take time out for yourself and do the things that make you happy. This Valentine’s Day, permit yourself to prioritise your needs and desires. Set aside the demands of daily life and focus on activities that replenish your energy and bring you comfort even if it’s just having a solo evening at home relaxing. By giving yourself that love, you’re boosting your confidence, making yourself feel seen, and making the holiday appear just a bit less lonely.

Ultimately, Valentine’s Day is about love in all its forms, and that includes the love you have for yourself.