Staying connected to family abroad

The plane from home turns its tail. The adrenalin of lugging overweight suitcases up the narrow stairs of the new accommodation fades. The tight goodbye hugs become a memory before the bedroom door shuts. Then comes this new, peculiar feeling. A weird sort of mix of longing, anticipation, and loss that makes no logical sense together. Yet, it’s still here, and after making plans of idly sipping coffee at an indie café or exploring campus, it lingers anyway. There’s the idea of texting the family group chat, but who knew that 3pm in this new charming European town could be 3am in the family living room? Suddenly, a hidden talent for awkward texting at odd hours appears, and a flurry of emojis and GIFS (nothing says “I love you” quite like it) ping throughout the night in answer. It all feeds into that awkward feeling, and it seems like with each day, there are fewer places where the feeling arises. But there are others who still struggle with adjustment even after years away. Here is some advice from those who have been there:

1. Theft
Try to take something from one of your family members without them knowing: your mother’s old perfume, your father’s coat, or that funky-smelling pillow that’s lasted two years beyond its deathbed. Of course, there will always be printed or digital photos to look back on, but having something physical that you can smell and touch will feel like a hug from home. Taking it without their knowledge just adds a sprinkle of mischief. Perhaps they’ll be looking for it, a slight inconvenience to their day-to-day, your little secret to make that object more treasurable. This is a last act of defiance and a reminder that even in your absence, there is never a dull moment in the house.

Connecting through food will fill the heart through the belly

2. Postcards and letters
Step into a time machine and grab a postcard from the local charity shop or bookstore. Yes, technology has advanced to the point that words on a screen can be sent across oceans in under a second. However, sending a hand-written letter with a dried pressed flower or the sticker labels of your new favourite canned drink enters new levels of intimacy. Spray it with the perfume you stole if you wish. Letters mean taking time from your busy seminar days to reflect on your experiences and organise your thoughts. In a world of instant gratification, there’s something wonderfully rebellious about sending a little piece of yourself across the miles.

3. Recipes
There’s nothing better than a comfort meal after a long day. Ask your family for their favourite recipes, set aside flammable items, and attempt to replicate your version of nostalgic home-cooked meals. It builds your cooking skills whilst creating an excuse to call a family member for help or to boast about your triumphs in the kitchen. Connecting through food will fill the heart through the belly if you’re up for the challenge.

Don’t be afraid of homesickness. You carry your home in your heart wherever you are

4. Apps
If all previous tips seem excessive, texting is just the first way to communicate via phone once you open the App Store. Cappuccino allows you to make a recording once a day about your 9am seminar, a summary of your favourite societies from the fair, or your coffee order from Curiositea. You can have separate groups for different people if there’s some ‘stuff’ you might not want your family members to know. Cappuccino compiles the recordings into one ‘podcast’ for you to listen to your family’s voices when time zones make phone calls inconvenient. The Locket app places a widget on your home screen where you can add friends or family. Upload any photo to the app to share it on your family’s phone home screen widget. Terrorise them with the pasta you’ve managed to burn, or wow them with your newly cleaned room.

Finally, don’t be afraid of homesickness. You carry your home in your heart wherever you are, and that awkward feeling at the beginning is a testament to that. It is there to remind you that you’re not just leaving home behind, but taking pieces of it with you.