Feeling average and the pursuit of perfection: impostor syndrome

Finally, you have successfully made it through the bustling corridors of prepubescent, anxious teens that make five years of secondary school and a couple more at college or sixth form. It must all be over now. That scrap of paper with a handful of letters which determines your future is delivered into your shaky hands like you’re some kind of minion receiving news on judgment day. You tear the envelope open and suddenly realise the breeding grounds of nerves you once called school are now all behind you.

Oh, how naive we all were. Little did anyone know that those anxiety ridden corridors are not going anywhere. They have just been transformed into flats, and campuses, and rebranded into supposedly carefree social hubs where no amount of partying and excessive alcohol consumption can mask that anxious teens still run rampant. Whatever option is taken in the hope of preventing those insipid feelings of inadequacy from creeping in will, ultimately, fail.

There is nothing wrong with average, in fact, by its very definition, it’s normal

Impostor syndrome and trying so hard to reach some ridiculously unquantifiable and, frankly, non-existent measure of ‘perfection’ is almost inevitable at such a defining moment in someone’s life. The plague that is social media exacerbates the issue. Only the crème de la crème surfaces on people’s feeds which just makes you, dear innocent scroller, a comparatively average onlooker. And yet that is just the problem. There is nothing wrong with average: in fact, by its very definition, it’s normal, and is the case for most people in the world. Let’s not be fooled into believing that everyone else has their head screwed on and knows exactly what they’re doing. If only more people admitted to these feelings, then it would surely create an environment where we can start to feel a little bit more at ease with our unease.

University is not, after all, supposed to be easy. You’re not supposed to feel in your comfort zone for the next three years and if you do, then you’re doing something wrong. Maybe, you put your feelers out the first week only to be swatted away by unruly flatmates who make you feel you don’t fit in or are not good enough. Or maybe, you’ve been ambushed by the millionth society this week shoving pointless freebies in your face. It is overwhelming, there’s no way around it. It is impossible, though, to be part of everything, to be friends with everyone, and be everywhere at once. Failing to do this does not mean you’re not making the most of your time at university or are less worthy than anyone else, it just means you’re human and finding your feet.

As important as it is, and as much as people will hammer home that you should try new clubs, and new societies, it’s equally important to do something where you can be confident and establish yourself. It may seem redundant, but it offers a good grounding to settle you in, get you out and about, and then, before you know it you have a new group of friends and the confidence to branch off into newer uncharted territory.

At university, you will grow. You’re not the same person you were when you started your A-Levels

Something as minor as writing an article was new for me, it was terrifying. No way do I have it in me to write a good article that can be published and read widely to a significant audience, I thought. But thank goodness for university publications because, not only do they not have a significant audience and are not read widely, they will also publish anything. So now, a few articles later, I am a tad more confident and a lot more willing to try out new things. Maybe I’ll pop along to a cocktail making masterclass, join a drama workshop or head to the gym and bounce on some trampolines, because why not? It’s freshers again and that blissful two-week period where everything is free. It takes a few small things that may seem inconsequential when looking back at the bigger picture of your university career that help you acclimatise to this brand-new environment, but with enough of these small wins, the university life everyone speaks about can start to materialise.

Whilst thinking about writing this article, I approached fellow students about their thoughts on the subject and a wise politics student told me how “preposterous it is to think when [we] finish university [we] will be exactly the same as [we] are now”. How right he is, and although that’s now got me thinking about how he would have done a markedly better job writing this article than me (the irony!), I can’t help but agree with the importance of ‘personal development’. At university, you will grow. You’re not the same person you were when you started your A-Levels, and when your shaky hands are met with another equally intimidating piece of paper displaying the result of the last three years of effort, you won’t be the same person again.