Being single at university

It’s well established that even in the chaos of university, surrounded by people, we can often feel our loneliest. No matter how many friends and social activities you may have, there’s the inevitable sense of longing when it’s a quiet Sunday evening and you suddenly find there’s nobody to curl up with to watch a movie.

Whether your best friend is in a relationship, your parents met at university, or a distant cousin found their soulmate on a first-year night out, there is an undeniable pressure to wonder at what point a relationship might find you. This is completely normal at university. It’s an environment built on socialising, and the societal expectations of meeting ‘the one’ in a completely surprising but perfectly expected way. The cosy academic aesthetic pushed on us by pop culture romanticises university life, depicting it as a time filled with friendships and relationships that define the protagonist’s story. Regardless of whether these relationships last, social media tells us they are essential, creating a subtle pressure for them to be central to our own experience.

Why limit ourselves to romantic relationships when we can find deep connections in friendships

Some of us may not feel the pressure of needing to form a relationship, instead we notice its absence in the small parts of life. These moments often highlight a sense of longing that isn’t necessarily driven by societal expectations but by the simple human desire for connection, comfort, and familiarity. Being away from home for the first time, as is often the case at university, can amplify this feeling. The transition from a familiar, supportive environment to an unfamiliar one, can leave us craving the warmth and security that a relationship, especially a romantic one, seems to promise. It’s not just the big milestones where we feel this absence, but in the everyday moments, the sense of something missing becomes most acute. In those small, quiet spaces, the idea of having someone to share life with can seem like the key to making this new phase feel less overwhelming.

However, university is also a time to embrace many forms of love. Why limit ourselves to romantic relationships when we can find deep connections in friendships, hobbies, academic pursuits, sports, and even within ourselves? University offers us a chance of a lifetime, to engage with people from all different backgrounds and interests. It offers us the opportunity to embrace all different types of conversations across all areas of our lives. Although the pressure to find ‘the one’ maybe there subconsciously, it’s so important to not close ourselves off to getting to know all the other brilliant people out there. Think of all the fabulous conversations we might lose out on by closing ourselves off to anyone but potential suitors.

We have almost a whole lifetime to find relationships and ‘the one’

This openness for new experiences and meeting new people that we all strive to have can often be lost in many areas once we enter the comfort of a relationship. It can be heartbreaking to come out of a relationship and find we have lost our person, but also find ourselves having missed out on so much. Take the time being single to rediscover your passions, rekindle friendships, and learn how to enjoy your own company. Embracing solitude can be just as valuable as companionship. Through this process, you can emerge stronger, more self-aware, and open to new opportunities, without losing sight of your individuality.

As students, many of us are just at the start of our adult lives. We have almost a whole lifetime to find relationships and ‘the one’. There’s no rush to meet a partner at the start of our lives when university has so many other amazing things to offer. Yes, being single can sometimes bring loneliness, but it also brings freedom, independence, and space for self-discovery. Make the most of it whilst you can, and let’s not rush what will happen in its own time.