Asexuality in a sex-crazed world: reviewing modern representation

In TV today, it often feels as though we’re constantly bombarded by shows such as Love Island, Naked Attraction, and Too Hot to Handle: shows that perpetuate that happiness in a relationship hinges upon undeniable sexual attraction to your partner.  However, for a small percentage of the population this is simply not the case. For the asexual community (that’s the A in LGBTQIA+), feelings of sexual desire simply aren’t a part of everyday life. Asexuality is defined as a lack of sexual attraction to others, or a low or absent desire for sexual activity.  The asexual spectrum is vast, with some asexuals still wanting romance, whilst others are content with platonic relationships. Despite growing recognition of this sexual orientation, it’s still incredibly rare for anyone who identifies as asexual to be represented in the media. With the constant rise of minority representation on our screens, is it not time to also turn our attention to this identity? And has the media so far tackled asexual characters in an accurate, non-harmful way? 

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To answer the first question, yes! Shows like Shadowhunters and Sex Education are paving the way for asexual representation in mainstream media, demonstrating there’s a place for asexual characters on TV. Perhaps the show that has done this best of all is Bojack Horseman, in which a main character, Todd, has a multi-season arc exploring his own sexuality. Not only is Todd an upbeat, fun-loving character (breaking the stereotype that asexuals are cold, calculating, borderline sociopaths), but his identity is also never the punchline of the joke. A lack of interest or experience with sex is so often used as an insult, and the characters who experience it are seen as naïve, stupid, or immature. To have a valued character like Todd is already such a big step for the ace community. Beyond Todd, the series has a whole host of asexual and aromantic (those who don’t feel romantic attraction) characters as the nuances of this sexuality are repeatedly explored over a number of episodes.

Sometimes asexuality is simply erased from our screens altogether

Now, while we are desperate for more, not every depiction of asexuality in television has been good. For example, the 2012 episode of House, ‘Better Half’, features a married couple who both identify as asexual, whom House believes to be lying about it. While this was originally seen as one of the first showings of asexuals in mainstream television, I don’t believe it can really be described as an example of asexuality at all. After discovering a perfectly normal, happy couple, House insists there must be something wrong with them if they aren’t interested in sex. To quote him directly, “The only people who don’t want it are either sick, dead, or lying.”

They go on to ‘cure’ the couple later in the episode (spoiler) when House discovers that the husband has a brain tumour which has diminished his sex drive, leading to the wife admitting she was lying so they could be together. In this episode, the show forces its amatonormative (the assumption that traditional views on romance and sex are the right ones) views on not only the characters but also the viewers, and repeatedly fails to validate asexuality by reducing it to nothing more than a medical abnormality. Asexuality is not a humorous pathology that can and should be fixed, and it shouldn’t be treated as such. 

Sometimes asexuality is simply erased from our screens altogether. While some audiences unintentionally conceal their asexual characters (I’m looking at those who ship Peridot from Steven Universe with other characters), more often than not it’s the creators of shows who remove asexuality from their storylines. A classic example is the enigmatic Sherlock Holmes. In the original novels, while never described as asexual, he has no sexual encounters, nor does he ever express an interest in anybody in this way. Yet in almost every adaptation he finds himself suddenly mixed up with a love interest. When asked why in the BBC adaptation, Sherlock, the character isn’t accurate to the novels, Steven Moffat simply replies “There would be no tension in that, no fun in that.” Whilst I’m sure Moffat didn’t mean any offense in his comment, it’s responses like this that force asexuality underground. It doesn’t help that asexuality is still somewhat of a mystery to people. 

With any luck, it won’t be long to wait until asexual characters are just as common as those of other identities, and the ace community will be able to see themselves in the personalities on screen

Aside from the severe lack of representation on screen, it’s also rarely taught in schools or mentioned in literature. Being asexual today sometimes feels like being constantly gaslit by the rest of the world, and it can be increasingly isolating. A Season 2 episode of Sex Education exemplifies this. A-Level student Florence approaches Otis about the pressure from her friends to have sex, which she doesn’t want to do. He misinterprets what she’s trying to explain and tells her she just hasn’t found “the right person” (something I know from personal experience is said a lot). Luckily, Florence also seeks out Jean (sex therapist and trained professional) who actually manages to help. She explains asexuality, reassures Florence that she isn’t “a freak” or “broken” and then says one of the most perfect lines I have ever heard regarding the difficult feelings young asexuals experience:

 “Sex doesn’t make us whole. And so, how could you ever be broken?”

I sobbed. This message being shared on a show as beloved by our generation as Sex Education is a huge step in the right direction for asexual representation. With any luck, it won’t be long to wait until asexual characters are just as common as those of other identities, and the ace community will be able to see themselves in the personalities on screen. Until then, I just hope our entertainment writers, producers, and directors continue to go in the right direction and accurately reflect the asexual experience through television.