Do friendships survive differing beliefs?

One of the best parts about going to university is the opportunity to meet new people. There are almost 30,000 students at Warwick, and over a third are international students. With young adults travelling across the UK and across the world to study here, it is inevitable to meet people with different beliefs to you.

Living on campus in your first year often involves throwing people together from contrasting walks of life. Meeting students from varying backgrounds gives us the opportunity to develop our understanding of different cultures and religions from first-hand experience rather than in a classroom. This can open up new paths of learning and possibilities for friendship, bringing an abundance of advantages. When these different upbringings breed opposing political opinions though, it can get a bit trickier.

I am friends with people who support a different political party to me

If you meet someone new, often politics doesn’t come up in early conversations but as a friendship grows, politics can become an unavoidable topic, especially if there is an upcoming election or conversations started about the handling of the pandemic. How can differing views affect friendship?

Personally, I am friends with people who support a different political party to me, because it is their democratic right to choose who to vote for or to choose not to vote at all. Yet for me, it gets more complicated when a friend holds a view that goes against who I fundamentally am and the human rights of other individuals.

Sheila Kloefkorn’s answer to the latter question is to simply keep being friends with them. In fact, she became friends with Glenn Stanton because of their opposing views. Kloefkorn spent her life fighting for equal marriage in the US and got married to her wife on the day it became legal in Arizona. Stanton, on the other hand, is a key figure in an evangelical Christian organisation called Focus on the Family, where he advocates against gay marriage and abortion.

Political conversations can be very dependent on what kind of relationship you have with the person

Stanton and Kloefkorn connected through Braver Angels, an organisation that links “Red” and “Blue” Americans together to discuss and de-polarise politics. It’s not the only network of its kind.

Although US politics is often seen as more polarising than in the UK, the dominance of two major political parties in Parliament demonstrates that polarisation is also an issue here. Surrounding yourself with people who only agree with you could create an echo chamber, where no alternative ideas are considered, and challenges go unheard. This can also lead to a more judgemental or negative stereotype of those with opposing views.

However, these conversations concerning tough political issues can be very stressful. It might take a toll on people’s mental health, especially if the discussion turns towards a previous trauma. If you feel a political conversation with a friend has gotten to this stage, take a step back and talk about how you’re feeling with someone.

It is unrealistic to think two people are going to think exactly alike

Political conversations can be very dependent on what kind of relationship you have with the person. They might be someone that you connected with in a society or a flatmate you can avoid. In these types of acquaintanceships, opposing political beliefs is probably not the be-all and end-all. This becomes more difficult when it relates to your best friends. You could simply vow to never speak about controversial political topics with them but it might be tricky to be best friends with someone who you don’t discuss your world views with.

For me, I couldn’t, but I know that’s because I hold politics very close to me and I’m very passionate about it. For others, it may not be as much of a deal-breaker.

It is unrealistic to think two people are going to think exactly alike. It is likely that you will befriend people with different political beliefs to you. Although you may disagree with them, if they are not arguing against someone’s human rights, try to keep it accepting, respectful and friendly.