The defining decade: lessons I’ve learned over the last ten years
For our generation, this decade has been a truly defining time of our lives. In the space of ten years we have transitioned into secondary school, lived out our awkward teenage years and grown into very-almost-adults. The 2010 version of myself would likely look up at the 2019 example of me and think “wow, she’s so mature and old, she must have her life together!”. Oh little 11-year-old Sadia… how naïve you are.
Far from being a real ‘grown up’, I’m entering my 21st year still feeling like I’m pretending to be an adult, waiting for someone to point out my façade and expose me for the penguin-pyjama-clad child I really am. However, it’s a warming thought to consider how in awe the 2010 version of myself would be of the person I’ve become. I may not feel nearly as mature and put together as younger me thought 21-year-olds were, but she would still be enthralled by what I’ve managed to achieve.
I’m a different person to the girl who wandered into Warwick as a fresher
As nerdy as it sounds, I had always loved learning as a child and dreamed of studying something I was passionate about at university level. The vision of the student life felt like it would be the pinnacle of my existence, the turning point where I would discover who I really was and become the best version of myself. Although perhaps not as cliché or dramatic as that, my three years at university has definitely been the most defining, transformative experience I’ve had so far. I’m a different person to the girl who wandered into Warwick as a fresher and, although I may be permanently more tired now, they are otherwise positive changes.
I’ve always been someone who sought approval or validation from others. Terrified of confrontation and paranoid that the smallest changes in behaviour meant I had upset someone, I’m your typical people-pleaser. While I still retain traces of that mentality, the last couple of years in particular have led me to prioritise myself a lot more, leading to new experiences and a massive improvement in self-confidence.
Confidence is another thing I’ve had to actively work on. My comfort zone is a fluffy-blanket covered, warm safe space where I tended to retreat whenever I could sense the possibility of rejection. Forcing myself out of that sphere of familiarity has meant I embraced new opportunities despite the potential for failure. As a result, I gave myself the chance to have all the incredible memories that my university experience has held, memories I wouldn’t have made if I stayed cocooned inside the safety of complacency.
Given the opportunity to speak to the 2010 version of myself, aside from warning myself to ditch the side fringe and never take a selfie until I’m at least 18, I don’t think I’d tell her to change anything
Focusing on the here and now rather than getting melancholy about a future where the present only exists as memories means I’m inclined to make this time count. Then, when I do get to the point where I look back in nostalgia, I’ll have great experiences to recount. Even now, I can look back at secondary school days that began very averagely and ended as a time to remember. So, embracing spontaneity despite my urge to plan things out meticulously is a mentality I’ve learned to try and cultivate.
Given the opportunity to speak to the 2010 version of myself, aside from warning myself to ditch the side fringe and never take a selfie until I’m at least 18, I don’t think I’d tell her to change anything. Everything you do as a kid, even the morbidly embarrassing things, arguably constituted a learning curve that helped you become who you are now.
I’m managing to live out a lot of the dreams I had as an 11-year-old, plus some I never imagined I would be doing
What I would say would probably be more along the lines of “hey, we did it”. I’m managing to live out a lot of the dreams I had as an 11-year-old, plus some I never imagined I would be doing. A decade later, I’m studying a subject I enjoy, surrounded by friends I love and looking forward to an exciting, albeit daunting, future making the jump into the next definitive period of my life.
While the past decade has held the evolution from teenage boy-band-obsessed Sadia into a (potentially) less cringey Sadia in her twenties, hopefully the next ten years holds developments in a career I’m passionate about and a whole host of new experiences to enjoy. And who knows – maybe the next decade will hold a moment where we won’t feel like we’re just pretending to be all grown up anymore and manage to achieve the real deal instead.
Comments