Tales of a postgraduate returning to Warwick

I didn’t expect to come back here. That’s the first thought that came to mind when I stepped foot on Warwick campus to begin my MA this year. I’d applied elsewhere. I’d felt that it was time to move on to academic pastures new. Fate, and university admissions offices which shall remain unnamed, had different plans. And yet it all felt oddly appropriate. After all, if Warwick taught me anything, it’s that getting what I want is not the same as getting what I need.

Looking around as the campus comes to life, I realise so much has changed in the year I was away. New buildings have sprung up from what were once fields. Old paths are blocked and others have now been opened. Warwick has a freshers’ week. Yes, those starting now may be shocked to know my degree ran between 3BFW-1BFW (Before freshers’ week).

There’s also something oddly fun about being a postgraduate, especially during freshers’ week

Now, instead of everyone being thrown headfirst into academic baptisms of fire and paperwork, there is time to adjust and get to know your future comrades, course mates and suspected milk thieves. Warwick’s list of societies has only grown mightier and more ambitious. The Oculus now does waffles while the SU finally has a decent main cider on tap.

While many of the changes bring out a childish delight as I scan the campus, it is also occasionally saddening realising what has gone. Many of my old course mates have moved on to their careers and internships. Places I have eaten, gone on dates and worked have been remodelled (Xananas) or flattened (Mead Gallery). At the end of the day, this is Warwick: a university which reminds its students daily that nothing lasts forever as it tears down and replaces their department buildings.

My face is on a university billboard. That is definitely new and I’m still coming to terms with how, if things go horribly wrong after this MA, I will be remembered as the smiling kid holding a copy of Difficult Men on the side of a former car park. Warwick PR does have a sense of humour after all.

You’re adding to what you have, not creating something from scratch

There’s also something oddly fun about being a postgraduate, especially during freshers’ week. You see stall-sellers luring the young in with the promise of freebies and opportunities they have no context to judge. Declare yourself a postgrad however, and they back off slightly. You’re almost one of them, no longer a mindless consumer but an astute observer of the university machine, no longer as easily seduced by its charms. They know you’ve had years of cynicism burn out your curiosity, and they know they cannot sell you the accommodation of your dreams, because you had those destroyed long ago during your first winter off-campus.

Some people I knew are still here finishing up their degrees or starting new ones. Conversations often begin with “hello again” rather than simply “hello.” As much time is spent looking back and reminiscing as they are about the pressing needs ahead. That isn’t to say that you can’t find new thrills and experiences, because of course you can, albeit with a difference. Every opportunity you now take no longer feels like a risk. You’ve already been through this world once, and now you’re just scoring bonus points. You’re adding to what you have, not creating something from scratch. The pressure to reinvent and have the best years of your life is no longer as pressing. What works for you and what doesn’t is all in the back of your mind. I haven’t had this feeling for a long time, but I know it again now, it’s the feeling of coming home.

You’re able to do and be so much more and this time you know what you’re capable of

I believe the feeling I have about being back is fairly similar to that moment of comfort people find in long-term relationships. There often isn’t a dramatic catalyst, you just realise that you’re happy where you are and you aren’t wanting for validation. Yes, the absence of those who grew up alongside you the first time does make a difference. But you’re able to do and be so much more and this time you know what you’re capable of. Warwick University, you’re nothing new to me with your discounts, your charms and your administrative failings, but you are home. Right now, that’s all you need to be.