Coping with reverse culture shock: Coming home after your year abroad

Culture shock is an anxiety-inducing idea that generally comes to mind before you embark on a year abroad. People will tell you that your destination of choice will be so different from life as you know it, the food will be weird, and something about all this will ultimately shock you, likely leaving you homesick or feeling completely out of place. Culture shock may make life hard for many, but the chances are that you know what to expect and do not find your new home culturally shocking, as such, because you’re ready for it!

Reverse culture shock, or the ‘gap year blues’, are real and affect many of us

There is, however, a feeling that nothing prepares you for: reverse culture shock. Months, and sometimes years, of planning go into a year abroad and most people are emotionally ready for the uncertainty and upheaval of the experience, but nobody tells you how hard it can be coming home! Reverse culture shock, or the ‘gap year blues’, are real and affect many of us. However, this feeling can be anticipated and, just like with planning your year abroad, can be handled to leave you calm and collected on your return.

Unlike your year abroad, it is actually the lack of change of your home-life that will likely leave you feeling blue once you return. Getting back home after a big trip is usually a positive experience for a few days, whilst you reunite with loved ones and share anecdotes and photos, but adjusting to your old ‘normal’ can be tough. The life you led up to the year you spent in total control of your surroundings, work, food, social life, and company was apt for the old you, but experiencing life from a different place and being open to new people, ideas and changing plans all the time changes you; you become more resilient and change becomes the new norm.

Coming home can leave you feeling tired, isolated, bored and frustrated at how closed your ‘normal’ life is, and this can have a big impact on your state of mind. From environmental triggers such as the grumpy attitude of the general public and the not-so-sunny weather, to personal issues such as losing your sense of purpose, not meeting any new people, and even feeling socially awkward, there’s plenty to make you miss your year abroad and find it difficult to be happy in yourself once you return.

Experiencing life from a different place and being open to new people, ideas and changing plans all the time changes you; you become more resilient and change becomes the new norm

Despite all this, there are a few tried and tested ways to put your happiness and health first and to avoid reverse culture shock altogether. Firstly, keep in contact with the people you shared your time with, as it will help you not to feel so disconnected. Stronger bonds are usually formed when you go somewhere alone, so keep your amazing new friends in your life!

Secondly, take time to reflect on the differences between your two lives and incorporate aspects of your year abroad life with your home life. Actively writing down what you loved about your routine or the activities you participated in abroad can help you to make your life just as fulfilling back home!

Don’t let coming home be a cloud in your sky; bring the sunshine home

Next, allow yourself to question the way people do things at home, and ask yourself if there is sometimes a better way. It’s not about being rebellious or upsetting your family by telling them how life was better abroad, but it’s about being in control of your own life and making adjustments that allow you to live however makes you happy. Make conscious decisions to involve yourself in what you want to be involved in and say ‘no’ to anything that isn’t that! Don’t feel obliged to go to the same bars or do the same sports as always, but be the one to change things up, have more fun, and keep meeting new people.

Another tip is to write about your experiences and to scrapbook your photos and mementos to actually picture your experience abroad as a section of your life, rather than an alternative to what you are living now. It is perfectly acceptable to idolise the life you were living abroad, but don’t see it as a life lost! In fact, try to use your experience to be inspired to pursue more and to reach further. Hopefully your year abroad didn’t shock you in a bad way but has actually shocked you into realising how much there is out there to see and do!

Don’t let coming home be a cloud in your sky; bring the sunshine home!