Writing as a coping mechanism for grief

Writing has always been recognised as a method of catharsis. When we are feeling stressed, overwhelmed or upset, many of us filter these negative emotions into journal entries, diary accounts, poetry or novel writing. We use writing, like reading, as a means of escape, and this practice can be used to explore our emotions, and the reasons behind them, in a healthier and more productive manner. One emotion particularly manifested in writing is grief.

Alfred Tennyson wrote an extensive, lengthy poem after the death of his friend Arthur Hallam. His elegiac poem ‘In Memoriam’ gave him the opportunity to employ poetry as a method of unpicking all of his grief and sorrow. Does writing in this form count as a healthy mechanism to release the tension of these escalating emotions? Or is it merely a space to poetically mask the true severity of your feelings? Is poetry an effective way of communicating or expressing your misery?

Some may perceive it as a way of rejecting the coping process, as you are not actively discussing and receiving feedback for your thoughts. However, others may envision poetry as a way of releasing the anger and sadness associated with grief through a healthy, productive activity that utilises your mental capacity rather than draining you physically.

While this repetitive exposure may be detrimental to some, it may also feel like a refreshing start for others once they have finished writing

Novel writing is a typically longer way of navigating your emotions. Catherine Simpson wrote a memoir entitled When I Had a Little Sister after her sister committed suicide following a long battle with mental illness in 2013 at the age of 46. Simpson’s book is saturated in her emotions surrounding the tragic event, and features anecdotal recollections of growing up with her sister, while she explores the possible reasons for her death.

Many may feel that writing a novel or memoir about your grief can be problematic as it forces you to linger on the topic for as long as it takes you to complete the project. While this repetitive exposure may be detrimental to some, it may also feel like a refreshing start for others once they have finished writing. Filtering all of your emotions on to a page may feel like a cathartic release, allowing you to transfer those feelings out of your own body so they do not continue to weigh you down any further.

If you are forcing yourself to unravel the thoughts in your head, you are naturally re-evaluating your emotions through a different lens

The efficacy of using writing as a mode of coping for your suffering is wholly dependent on how you prefer to process grief. Many unconsciously bottle their emotions up and release them in one explosion of anger and sadness when they reach a climax, while others slowly uncover their emotions through discussing them with others.

If you prefer to eradicate grief as quickly as possible and don’t like to linger on the negative feelings associated with it, then choosing to write out your emotions may make you uncomfortable – in which case, a diary entry or journal may be a better option for you. On the other hand, if taking your emotions and implementing them in a more poetic manner (hence, making something of them) is more your style, then perhaps applying them to a narrative will be more cathartic for you. Time is a massive consideration when it comes to deciding how to process your emotions creatively.    

Writing may lead to a greater understanding of your feelings and the reasons behind them. If you are forcing yourself to unravel the thoughts in your head, you are naturally re-evaluating your emotions through a different lens. So, using writing as a way of managing negativity may be the perfect coping mechanism for some, but the worst form of catharsis for others, and the answer lies in how quickly you prefer to relieve grief.